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 Posted: Wed Jun 28th, 2006 01:02 am
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Paddy
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HOWARD AND THE SNAKE


©2006 paddy gillard-bentley


 

God and Satan having a chat.  God is a bit Woody Allenesque and Satan is, well, his usual self.


HOWARD:  Don’t call me Howard! (sigh) Just a few mistakes…really, and yet so much has gone wrong. 

SNAKE:  You’ve made some good things.  Oceans and beaches…they’re good.

HOWARD:  Yeah…they are good, aren’t they?

SNAKE:  And the stars…they’re gorgeous…you should be proud of those.

HOWARD:  Yeah…everyone likes those.

SNAKE:  And women…women are good.

HOWARD:   Woman?  I thought that was yours.

SNAKE:  Nope, yours…and you did a fine job …really.  Love the breasts.

HOWARD:  Why is everything about sex with you, Snake?

SNAKE:  God awful, isn’t it?  You should try it sometime.  

HOWARD: You know, most days I feel okay about my work…I can find something beautiful…like a cold mountain stream…

SNAKE:  Polluted.

HOWARD:  Clouds that carry a thunderstorm…

SNAKE:  Acid rain.

HOWARD:  A soft gentle breeze.  

SNAKE:  Gas.  Speaking of which…why the intestinal wrath?

HOWARD:  (walking toward the exit) This is a waste of time.

SNAKE:  You know…Howard…

                         Howard turns.

SNAKE:  That thing you did with your son and the cross?  Now that was really good.  Two thousand years later and here they are, a bible in one hand, a loaded gun in the other…your name uttered on their lips.  (beat)  Just wish I’d thought of it first.



~end~

Last edited on Wed Jun 28th, 2006 01:11 am by Paddy

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 Posted: Wed Jun 28th, 2006 12:19 pm
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Edd
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Paddy,

I actually read Howard/Snake about half a dozen times.  That's the good thing about this size play.  Last night I laughed at the truth of the bible/gun line.  This morning, before coffee, I felt a twinge of pain and anger at the truth of the bible/gun line.  Same line, opposite emotions.  Though I suspect this morning's will be the one that sticks.

Edd

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 Posted: Wed Jun 28th, 2006 01:49 pm
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Edd
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Paddy,

I cut a scene from The Moon Away which opens in Boston in a couple months.  I didn't mind losing the scene because it really was extraneous.  However, my favorite line in that scene, and one of my favorites in the entire play, went with the scene.  One day I will find another play in which to put it.  Howard/Snake reminded me of that line: "Don't blame Jesus for the Christians."

Edd

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 Posted: Fri Jun 30th, 2006 01:32 am
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Claudia
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I laughed and was blindsided.  Nice ending.  And oh, "just wish I thought of it first." Really nice.  "Nice" being the absolute wrong word.

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