Posted: Wed Feb 25th, 2009 04:01 pm
1 st Post
BOB, pretty normal.
NORM, not very normal.
BOB sits behind a desk. NORM ENTERS.
BOB. Have a seat, Mr. Johnson.
NORM. I just wanna say, I've been in construction all my life.
BOB. That's fine. But we're not talking about a job in construction, are we?
NORM. No. No, of course not. I know that.
BOB. We discussed that in the first interview.
NORM. I know. I just thought with all the applicants, maybe you forgot about my background.
BOB. I didn't forget, Mr. Johnson. I didn't forget a single thing.
NORM. You must have written some things down.
BOB. Right. I did.
NORM. On that stack of papers you have there. Is that my folder?
BOB. Yes, it is. Anyway, at this juncture, I think it best I give you a little quiz.
NORM. Quiz? Like a pop quiz?
NORM. I love quizes. I love Jeopardy. I love crosswords.
BOB. Great. Okay. So let's say you're doing your job, and --
NORM. Did I get the job?
BOB. No. Not yet.
NORM. Oh... So you want me to leave?
BOB. No. Just sit there. Remember, we're doing the quiz.
NORM. Yes. I love quizes.
BOB. I know that.
NORM. In case you forgot.
BOB. I didn't forget, Mr. Johnson.
NORM. Jeopardy. Wheel of Fortune.
BOB. Right. Now listen...
NORM. Okay. I didn't mention Wheel of Fortune before.
BOB. All right.
NORM. You didn't write it down.
BOB. There. (scribbles) Satisfied?
NORM. Yes. Of course, why wouldn't I be?
BOB. Okay... You're sitting at your desk. And you hear someone in the hall --
NORM. (bangs hand on desk) What is the UPS man!
NORM. Is it wrong? That's in the form of a question.
BOB. No. No. You don't have to bang on the desk.
NORM. There's no lever. There's no keypad.
BOB. Mr. Johnson, I'm interviewing you for a position. It's not a game show.
NORM. I'm sorry. I got carried away. Not literally, but.. you know...
NORM. I was not gonna say that. Even if it's the right answer. I have to be honest.
BOB. That wasn't part of the quiz.
BOB. I was saying. Let's say you're in your office, and you overhear one of the employees say something inappropriate...
NORM. About my mother?
BOB. No, not your mother.
NORM. Then it's fine.
BOB. Fair enough.
Posted: Wed Feb 25th, 2009 07:53 pm
2 nd Post
This is soooo David Ives / Christopher Durang. I'm sure you've read "All in the Timing"...?
I really like your stuff!!
Posted: Wed Feb 25th, 2009 09:32 pm
3 rd Post
Fun read...made me smile. Like it.
Posted: Thu Feb 26th, 2009 04:14 am
4 th Post
Posted: Thu Feb 26th, 2009 05:10 am
5 th Post
no, no. not back in the saddle (though i like the imagery). just lurk now and then with very little to say cause i'm not writing anything new. i just was looking through some of my documents and saying "what is this thing?" and found some short plays and partials i wrote. when i saw this post, i thought i'd post them.
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