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 Posted: Tue Aug 18th, 2009 08:11 pm
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Clausey
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Mana: 
Well the topic title says it all... read at your own risk.

 

By the way, this does not reflect at all my views. I simply got the insiration out of a math problem I was doing for my statistics class a while ago.

 

AT RISE: JOE is sitting in a blank room in front of a table with a chair opposite to where he is sitting. Enter ANDERSON.

 

ANDERSON: Joe, my name’s Detective Anderson. I’m the head investigator of this here case and found some interesting little tidbits that I would like to question you about.

JOE: Well Detective Anderson, my name is Joe, I was going to introduce myself but you already did it for me and I would gladly answer the questions for you.

ANDERSON (laying a couple of old letters on the desk and taking a seat) : Do you know what these are?

JOE: Those are notes confessing my eternal love for her.

ANDERSON: In these “notes” you claim that you would like to burn her alive, hold her head under a bath tub until she stops breathing, rip off every layer of skin in her body and turn it into a three piece suit and then make love to her.

JOE: Sweet, flowery love; surrounded by honey which we will pour on ourselves to create a sticky bond of togetherness in order to fortify our eternal bond.

ANDERSON: I stand corrected. Boy,  what does that sound like to you?

JOE: Impossible.

ANDERSON: Why?

JOE: Of the first three you mentioned I can only do one of them. If I burn her alive she dies and I won’t have a chance to hold her head under a bath tub until she stops breather nor rip off every last layer of skin in her body and turn it into a three piece skin suit. Now I don’t want to get all factorial with you so you can do the rest of scenarios for yourself.

ANDERSON: Yes, but—

JOE: And if I were to either burn her alive or rip her skin off, how in God’s great earth will the honey stick?

ANDERSON: Joe, you and I both—

JOE: Why must love remain sensical? I write something that can’t be restrained to the conventionality of love itself and I’m being thrown in prison for it? Words are words Detective, the best way we humans can paint those vivid pictures.

ANDERSON: Yes, words are words Joe. But those words are turned into actions. Actions that led to Miss Jewel being forcefully asphyxiated, temporarily revived only to be covered in honey and made love to, burned alive and finally have the charred remains of her dermis be turned into a three-piece suit. Either way, you just have to jumble up the factorial a bit to see how it was all possible.

JOE: Well in that case, I would like to say something in my defense.

ANDERSON: Very well then.

JOE: Due to my lack of planning, the charred remains of her skin shrunk to a point where it was only possible to create a three-piece suit for an infant.

ANDERSON: You sicken me.

JOE: I know! I really should plan out ahead next time and analyze each part of my plan.

 

(BLACKOUT)

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 03:03 pm
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tragedian
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Mana: 
Why is this so-called play allowed to be posted? Somebody please delete.

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 03:11 pm
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Moonmi
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Mana: 
Oh come on.

The reality of the situation is ridiculous, so take it as that and listen to the humor.

Not everything has to be Hamlet, full of Angst and Drama.

If you shine a light on that which is the most absurd does it not help us understand the things that are normal.

Long live free speech.

 

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 03:49 pm
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tragedian
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"If you shine a light on that which is the most absurd does it not help us understand the things that are normal."

Actually...no, at least IMHO. For me, anyway, it is beyond absurd and inane. I can't see how the subect matter in this "play" benefits anyone. If it's posted for pure shock value, then why bother.  

"The reality of the situation is ridiculous, so take it as that and listen to the humor."

Humor? Really - my "thing" is written humor and try as I may, I can't find any redeeming value in this play. Period.

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 05:19 pm
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Moonmi
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Mana: 
everybody has an opinion

no matter what it is

the playwright did say "Read at your own risk"

I enjoyed it and found it funny

If it was written to shock, you missed the boat.

Maybe I'm just jaded

 

But I do wonder what kind of math you're doing?

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 06:01 pm
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Clausey
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Mana: 
This has been, by far, the darkest, or second darkest, play I’ve ever written and the only thing I feel the need to apologize for is not making the “Read at your own risk” portion in bold. I will only remove it if I am asked to remove it because it goes against any forum rules.

My works have always been a tad bit kitsch, despite my conservative views and lifestyle, and I can never help myself with implementing my plays with absurdity since it is my subject of choice, thanks for noting that Moonmi :D. Even though it is unconventional, I will not mold myself into being a playwright bent on selling seats rather than selling what he wants to write.

The reason I’m here at the playwright’s gym is because I want to master the art of dark comedies because do to personal reasons, I cannot write “dramas” or “tragedies”. Since a dark comedy is allowed to have “disturbing” undertones, and the last time I checked it was a genre of play, I don’t see why it should be deleted. Perception of humor differs between people. And that’s what makes us human.

One of my targets when writing plays is attacking mathematics, it is a subject that I was forced to suffer through for the past fourteen years and now I am finally free of it.  How math never really has the answer to all the problems in life. If you understand factorials, it is one of the few mathematical aspects that you can unknowingly apply to plays, at least that’s how it works for me. Now they’re only used when applying a bit of symmetry to your play, yet symmetry shouldn’t be a rule that should be applied to all plays and, thank God, it isn’t. Because in life symmetry is never possible because in this world it simply can’t happen. That is what I hoped to achieve by writing this most disturbing piece.

I do not at all regret posting this because they are simply words, another thing I was hoping to touch when writing this. Words, we can control our words from leading into action.  And it is the irony that is presented in this play that while the words seem to depict action, they will always be just that, words. Not hurting anyone, not helping anyone, and only given meaning if you allow it to give meaning. Shakespeare’s play Titus Andronicus depicts some of the most gruesome events including murder, rape, cannibalism, even racism amongst more dark and disturbing undertones however they were just words with an underlying message.  

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 06:23 pm
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RTurco
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Mana: 
I really enjoyed this little play/scene! Especially the last six lines.  It's totally absurd, like something out of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Viva la absurd! And Viva la fava beans and a nice Chianti.

~RTurco

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 Posted: Thu Aug 20th, 2009 07:21 pm
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tragedian
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Mana: 
The feedback on my feedback seems to indicate that I didn't get it. Let's just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2009 12:03 pm
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jacar3000
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Mana: 
haha, I like this. It's very funny in a sickening way.

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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2009 02:56 pm
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HarveyRabbit
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Mana: 
Neither, for one moment, should you regret posting this, Clausey. Thank you for sharing it. I enjoyed reading it and, like others, appreciated its dark humor and off kilter, absurdist sensibility. My only problem with it is that I find it too short. It feels incomplete, like it should be part of something longer, perhaps even much longer.
 

I won’t comment further on the earlier brouhaha except to offer this quote:
 

“Censorship is to art as lynching is to justice.” 
 

Henry Louis Gates
 

H.

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 Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2009 01:49 am
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leon
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Mana: 
the play didn't sicken me.  but i didn't get it.  i think it stinks.  it's a one note play that doesn't work as drama.  and it's not funny enough to be even dark humor.  the mechanics of it aren't bad there's no point and it's too short, and for something like this, if it isn't funny -- it's charred, asphyxiated, and well...dead.

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 Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2009 01:58 pm
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HarveyRabbit
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Leon, I don’t think comments like “it stinks” are constructive in any way, and quite frankly I’m surprised at you. If you have no desire to be helpful, but merely tear someone’s work down, why bother to chime in. No one needs that. If you didn’t like it and had nothing productive to add then why not just pass it by? That’s what I did with ‘Insurance on the Line.’
 

H.


 

 

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 Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2009 05:55 pm
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leon
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Mana: 
okay, harvey, take out the line of "it stinks" and leave the rest.  I think the rest is pretty honest.  i did say it's techincally pretty well written, but ultimately, not hitting on any mark.

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 Posted: Tue Sep 15th, 2009 08:00 am
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Cheesehoven
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Mana: 
I have to agree with Leon for the most part. I did not enjoy this sketch (which is what it is) since I found it mechanically constructed and obvious. The characters baldly introduce each other at the start. This could happen more subtly during the course of the piece, which would have the added advantage of the opening being mysterious. However, I don't think it is worth the trouble tinkering with, tbh.

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 Posted: Tue Sep 15th, 2009 09:38 am
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Edd
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Mana: 
I do not at all regret posting this because they are simply words, another thing I was hoping to touch when writing this. Words, we can control our words from leading into action.  And it is the irony that is presented in this play that while the words seem to depict action, they will always be just that, words. Not hurting anyone, not helping anyone, and only given meaning if you allow it to give meaning. Shakespeare’s play Titus Andronicus depicts some of the most gruesome events including murder, rape, cannibalism, even racism amongst more dark and disturbing undertones however they were just words with an underlying message.  


I did not find this to my taste. It is, of course and at best, a skit and not a play. I think your ability as a playwright (based strictly on this piece) needs to be developed. And, of course, you know that else you wouldn't be here. That it is not being to my taste does not make it anything but that. Your above quote is absolutely spot on. I got that before reading that explanation. I got it and I absolutely believe that to be true.

Clausey, keep writing. Write what you like. However, here is something to think about: When you write a play, or a skit, it is a thing to play out on the stage. That takes collaboraters. So now we have a minimum of 4 people invested in the play; a director, 2 actors and you. The director and the actors want it to be seen by an audience as do you or you would not have posted it. I like to sit in the back of the house and, with a keen eye and ear, take my cue from their reaction. We who have read this offering are your audience. Keep writing what you want, but always consider the audience.

We go the the Theatre with the expectation to like what we are about to see. Film is no different. Nor is a book. This may not apply to some critics, but it certainly does to the rest of us. You must always keep that in mind.

There is a lot to be said about words and not a one of them are actions. Lenny Bruce and George Carlin taught us that.

Oh, and don't explain yourself! Either they get you or they don't!

Sticks and stones,
Edd

P.S. Being a Libra, I could easily argue that words can be dangerous things. They are fought over, they incite riots, they justify prejudice. On the flip side, they give hope and comfort - among many other things. It is not the words themselves, but how they are used and how they are heard; and most of us hear what we want to hear. I firmly believe that it is not what we say, but how we say what we say. But, let's save that for another time.

See! You got people thinking, Clausey. Bravo you!

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