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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > The Playwrights' Gym - Feedback > A few pages for critique

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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2009 01:14 pm
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jacar3000
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Last edited on Thu Aug 27th, 2009 06:48 pm by jacar3000

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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2009 03:16 pm
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katoagogo
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Cogratulatiions on finishing the first draft of your first play.  Here's hoping there are many more to follow (both drafts and plays).

Before sending your play out - be sure to hold one or two read-throughs of your play followed by revisions based upon what you have heard and informed by the reactions of others.

No literary manager wants to read a play by a novice playwright that hasn't at least been spoken out-loud before.

There are many threads on this forum describing how to get your play read - and some ideas are included in GET THAT PLAY READ on Playwright Zoo
http://playwrightzoo.blogspot.com/2007/07/monkey-house-musing-1-get-that-play.html

Let us know how your first reading of the play goes.

--kato

PS-- as a new member I hope you've read these tips from Edd
http://www.stageplays-forum.com/forum4/2827.html

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 Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2009 10:01 pm
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Steamboat Chambers
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Jaacar,
Howdy, I just got through your post and Kato's reply. As a novice myself, I'd first like to welcome you to the board. You happened upon a very helpful and generous site where amateurs like yourself and me have a place to receive feedback from some very successful, produced playwrights. That said, I enjoyed your piece and would love to read more. I'm curious whose paradigm wins out in the end. You seem to have set up the age old nature vs. nurture conflict here. There's Adam, who like the waitress from earlier in his day is burned out on his job and life. He sees but doesn't feel. Everyone is a stranger to him. You seem to give Cecilia the upperhand. Is she going to win the day or does this tug of war continue? Your writing is strong, ex. "cecilia:      Time is not all we have. If it were, it would not be worth having at all." I would just warn not put the cart in front of the horse and write your play with a certain final moral in mind. The dialogue can become overtly preachy and
jumpy, from one thing to the next, so that scenes may not have dramatic relevance but occur solely to get prove your (or character's) point.
I think that happens here a bit. Lots of sermonizing going on, but keep on keeping on and post updates and revisions! Best of luck.
-SC

Last edited on Thu Aug 27th, 2009 12:38 am by Steamboat Chambers

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