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 Posted: Sat May 15th, 2010 06:32 pm
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haywardb
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I have a conundrum regarding my latest play, so I thought I would tap into the creative minds on these boards.  I always write comedies, but rarely do they hinge on jokes.  However, there's a situation in my latest play that requires an actor to make a joke and I am stumped.  If you have any suggestions, your assistance would be greatly appreciated.  I have all my friends working on it, but nothing has quite clicked as yet.  Here's the set up...

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "To be or not to be.  That is the question."  And the bartender says...

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 Posted: Sun May 16th, 2010 06:57 am
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muncy
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Surely you mean 'to beer or not to beer'

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 Posted: Mon May 17th, 2010 03:01 am
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Trevor John Norton
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Barman says, "To be here or not to be here. I still ask that question."

Trev N

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 Posted: Mon May 17th, 2010 08:47 pm
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Alan
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Oh, yeah? Here's my question, Hammy: What'll it be?

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 Posted: Mon May 17th, 2010 08:58 pm
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Alan
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Same old question, same old answer, Bub: Whiskey.

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 Posted: Mon May 17th, 2010 10:30 pm
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Alan
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Hey, can't you read the sign? It says no soliloquies, Pal.

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 Posted: Wed May 19th, 2010 10:22 am
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HarveyRabbit
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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "To be or not to be.  That is the question."  And the bartender pulls out a gun, fires, and says..."not."

H.




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 Posted: Wed May 19th, 2010 06:42 pm
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bkahn
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I don't have a punchline ready, but I thank all of you who did for giving me a few well-needed laughs during a very busy week.

Barbara

 

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 Posted: Thu May 20th, 2010 11:19 pm
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timmy
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...and the bartender says,

"And the answer is a left on Thirty Third Street...second door, second floor. That's where I left her back in 2003. And she was thirsty."

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 Posted: Fri May 21st, 2010 11:27 am
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haywardb
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Thank you so much!  Everyone!  These are all great and now I shall try them with my cast and see which one gets the biggest laugh.

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 Posted: Thu Sep 5th, 2013 07:54 pm
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JesseAbram
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"This is 2C, 2B is downstairs."

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 Posted: Thu Sep 5th, 2013 08:10 pm
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in media res
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Always funny to see an old post pop up.

Good Answer, Jesse!

best,

IMR

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 Posted: Sat Sep 7th, 2013 06:41 am
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Wendy Onslow
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I think the best one is from Alan. (The one about the soliloquies).

Wendy

Last edited on Sat Sep 7th, 2013 06:43 am by Wendy Onslow

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 Posted: Sun Sep 8th, 2013 11:41 am
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Doug B
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I liked Jesse Abram's. Made me laugh out loud.

Doug

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 Posted: Mon Mar 3rd, 2014 05:29 am
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ServiceSpirit
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Jesse, brilliant

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