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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > SEASONS OF BORIS

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 Posted: Tue Oct 30th, 2007 11:44 pm
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kris
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Mana: 
Boris has left McDonald's to go bowling.
Thanks for the very helpful feedback.

kris

Last edited on Tue Nov 6th, 2007 07:03 pm by kris

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 Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 02:38 pm
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in media res
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Mana: 
Kris,

You hooked my curiosity at the outset with the setting and times in the descriptions.

This is a very touching play. Four seasons four visits. In a fast food restaurant - where people want to get in/get out - patience and caring wins the day! Lots of things for good actors to do in the changing time and seasons. Much will be different. Much will stay the same.

It isolates one story in a usual anonymous gathering place.

Oddly, the manager is a memorable, great little role.

I would really like Chris to know some Russian. And have a little Russian in the piece. To what degree is your choice. It would add a touch more theatricality, color and music to the piece. The emotions of another language will come through - even a few simple words that the audience will know.

Could Boris not say KGB? Once? Could get a nice laugh.

But this little play is a winner for what is left unsaid, as well as what is said.

I’ll PM you some other comments later.

By the way, I have never seen pre-pandrial in my life. You sent me to "google!"

Best,

in media res

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 Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 03:37 pm
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kris
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What a great idea about the Russian, in media res. How simple to have Chris say "Nyet" or "Da" or even "Zima" or "Spasibo" (if I could spell it) in context. And KGB would be fun. Another easy change, switching a "security" to "KGB," or simply adding it somewhere. As always, your suggestions are spot on. Thanks for the feedback,

kris

Last edited on Wed Oct 31st, 2007 03:42 pm by kris

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 Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 03:44 pm
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Proboscisbunny
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I enjoyed the piece very much...although I had a tough time NOT visualizing my neighbor Boris (who was Russian police) in the role...he's in his late 40's (looks older, he's not American ;) and the age difference (that was happening in my head) was touching.

When describing characters I hesitate to get too much into the physical description - you don't want to exclude a brilliant actor because she isn't tall enough.

I see GREAT opportunities for the actors to fill out this piece. Excellent work!

Vanessa

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 Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 04:01 pm
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kris
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Thanks, Vanessa. I'm so glad you enjoyed "Boris." That's a good point about not having the physical description limit the pool of actors. I actually hadn't thought of that. I had wanted the differences in height and age to suggest a vaguely maternal or caretaking aspect of Chris. But I can see where it would open up the possibilities to have any heights or ages. (As with your envisioning Boris as the 40-something neighbor.) I can't believe how easy I am -- especially when the suggestions make sense!

kris 

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 Posted: Thu Nov 1st, 2007 12:37 pm
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Edd
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kris,

I too like the idea of  "call KGB," but only after the entire run of "call security" as a more deadly alternative.  Nice work.

~Edd

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 Posted: Thu Nov 1st, 2007 03:31 pm
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kris
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in media res and Edd,

I've tried "KGB" in a couple of spots, and now it's (posted) in the third scene, soon after Manager exits. Thanks again for the great idea, in media res, and for seconding it, Edd.

kris

P.S. Edd, I read a compelling first act of yours, "Dawn Rose," that I wanted to respond to and now I can't find it! Is it gone, or am I just looking for it in all the wrong places?

Last edited on Thu Nov 1st, 2007 03:36 pm by kris

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 Posted: Thu Nov 1st, 2007 03:45 pm
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Edd
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kris,

Since it opens in Chicago in two months and also because of its length, I rethought the wisdom of posting it here and removed it.  You can read the entire play, however, on my website:  http://www.edwardcrosbywells.com under the title FLOWERS OUT OF SEASON.

Are you going to be at Michael's reading Monday night?  I think I may go.  It'll be a great opportunity for us all to meet.

~Edd

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