Here is the first scene of a play I have been working on called 'Henry Dearest'.  I see it as a kind of bastard love child of Pirandello's 'Henry IV' and 'Mommie Dearest'.


I'd appreciate any feedback at this stage  - even if only to say that it was so dull you couldn't read it to the end! 

Thanks for looking.... Gary

 

 

Henry Dearest

A play by Gary J. Dooley

Copyright  2008 Gary John Dooley

 

 

With due deference to Luigi Pirandello and to the many people who have reinvented Joan Crawford both during her lifetime and since her death.

 

Characters (in order of appearance):

 

Chloe Horn - “Betty” – 36, sister to Henry.  Runs the household whilst playing the role of housekeeper / private secretary

 

Mary Fincham - “Christina” – 23, actor currently in the employ of the Horn estate playing the role of one of Joan’s adopted children

 

Marcus Vale – “Christopher” – 22, actor currently in the employ of the Horn estate playing the role of one of Joan’s adopted children

 

David Weller – “Clark Gable” - 34, formerly Henry’s partner

 

Henry Horn – “JC” – 41, an actor specialising in impersonating silver screen icons. When the play opens, he is Joan Crawford in every aspect of his demeanour and behaviour

 

Professor George Loftus - “Louis B. Mayer” - 56, psychiatrist

 

Toby Marchant - “Bette Davis” – 48, female impersonator



 

Time: The present.  Scene: The hall and living room of a large house in the Sussex countryside, but decorated in the style of Joan Crawford’s Hollywood mansion circa 1950 - High style, late period deco, predominantly white with marble, chrome and mirrors.  There is a large portrait of Joan Crawford prominently displayed over a fireplace and an Oscar takes pride of place on the mantelpiece.  Everything is spotlessly clean.  The ornate double front door is visible; a door upstage left leads to the kitchen and upstage right leads to the ‘green room’.  A locked door downstage right leads to ‘Betty’s’ rooms.  Stage left is a large curved staircase leading to a visible second floor balcony with two locked doors.

 
ACT I                          SCENE 1: 10am Monday Morning

chloe enters from her room and locks the door.  she is carrying some papers and a small pile of books which she lays out on the coffee table.  the doorbell rings, she checks her watch and goes to answer the door, it is mary .

CHLOE:                     Ah, come in.  I was expecting you.

MARY:                        Wow.

CHLOE:                     Nice, isn’t it?  Now, please take a seat, Christina.

MARY:                        …Mary.…

CHLOE:                     While you are under this roof, you will answer to ‘Christina’.  One of the rules of the house – you will get used to it soon enough.  And you can call me Betty.  Now, the agency gave you some details, yes?

MARY:                        I was given the background information sheets.

CHLOE:                     Good.  That will save us a lot of time going over unnecessary detail.  First the formalities, could you just sign this please, there and there.

MARY:                        What is it?

CHLOE:                     A confidentiality agreement saying that you will not discuss what goes on in this house with any outside agent and won’t seek to profit at any time in the future from your knowledge of what happens here.  Do you have a problem with that?

MARY:                        I guess not.

CHLOE:                     Then just sign it please and we can get on (mary signs)

MARY:                        Were there many applicants for the position?

CHLOE:                     One hundred and eighteen.  Out of work actors are not a rarity.  Just fill me in briefly on what you’ve done before.

MARY:                        Since graduating from drama school two years ago…

CHLOE:                     Which drama school?

MARY:                        The National School of Speech and Drama.

CHLOE:                     Good.  Good school – carry on.

MARY:                        Well, since graduating I did a season in rep at the New Vic, Stoke-on-Trent  - mostly young ingénue type of roles.  Then a summer in Chichester, crowd scenes really, but I had a few lines in ‘She Stoops to Conquer’.  Since then it’s been a bit quiet – oh, I did a TV ad for a deodorant, you might have seen it, the one where the woman is out shopping and…

CHLOE:                     We don’t have a television.

MARY:                       Oh.

CHLOE:                     Now, you look about the right size – I specified 32-26-32 (or whatever is appropriate for the actress), shoe size five and a half? - is that right?

MARY:                        Yes. Exactly.

CHLOE:                     Good.  Then the costumes should fit.  No good having to get new costumes every time we get a new Christina.  You must understand, Christina, that this role is unlike any you have ever played before or will play again.  It is total immersion, you will live the role every moment that you are in this house.

MARY:                        I understand.

CHLOE:                     Treat it as an acting exercise if you will, the ultimate method acting exercise.  Everything you do, every move you make must be in the character of Christina, it is essential.  The money is good – far better than equity rates – but the work is demanding and the hours can be odd.

MARY:                        Odd?

CHLOE:                     There is a regular schedule of mornings and afternoons – but there will also be some unorthodox times – impossible to predict when – but it is imperative that you can be contacted at all times and can be here within the hour if called.  Is that a problem?

MARY:                        Er…No, that’s fine.  I can be contacted easily (SHE TAKES OUT HER MOBILE TELEPHONE) It’s on all the time.

CHLOE:                     While you are here, it will be turned off and left in your locker – under no circumstances will you have it on your person.  Mobiles have not been invented yet.

MARY:                        Oh.  I see.

CHLOE:                     Christopher, your brother, should be down in a moment – I should like you two to get acquainted as soon as possible.

MARY:                        Just one thing.

CHLOE:                     Yes?

MARY:                        You sent me the character bio – but I’m not clear just exactly how old you want me to be.

CHLOE:                     You must be whatever age is required.

MARY:                        Sorry, I don’t understand.

CHLOE:                     You will, in time.  You are Christina at all ages from two years old to thirty six – which is how old you were when Mommie died.  You will be as old as the scenario demands.

MARY:                        I’m still not quite sure….

CHLOE:                     There is nothing linear about the story that you will enact here, there are fragments, all significant in their own right, but not chronological.  Think of it like looking at your life through a kaleidoscope – a life of technicolour fragments, none coming before or after any of the others, just co-existing.

MARY:                        I could possibly pass for sixteen, on a good day, but no younger.  How can I pass as a child?

CHLOE:                     You can ‘pass’ – as you so quaintly put it - for a child of two, four or whatever age is required.  This is not a movie, we don’t seek verisimilitude, some spurious objective accuracy, we seek a deeper truth.  That child of two is inside you, you can bring her out again.  Don’t look for anachronisms – they are everywhere, just buy into the reality.  Look, you are trying to bring an altogether misplaced logical analysis to the role, it is inevitable, and everyone does at first.  You are being paid, and paid handsomely, to play a role.  Like all good actors you will find something of yourself to invest in that role – eventually the barrier between you and the role blurs – that’s what happens here.  It all makes sense eventually, trust me.

MARY:                        When will I get to meet Mr Horn?

CHLOE:                     You will not meet Mr Horn at all. 

MARY:                        Sorry?

CHLOE:                     There is no Mr Horn in this house.  In due time you will meet Joan, Mommie to you.

MARY:                        Ah, I see.   Is he here now, in the house?

CHLOE:                     She’s always here, never leaves the house.  We always say ‘she’, by the way.  It makes things more consistent all around.  Do you have a problem with that?

MARY:                        No, no, not at all.  ‘She’.

CHLOE:                     Good, I like you – quick on the uptake, not like our last Christina, waste of time that one.  Let us down badly, very badly.

MARY:                        What did she do?

CHLOE:                     We don’t talk about it.

MARY:                        Sorry.  I just thought that if…

CHLOE:                     I said we don’t talk about it.  The rules are quite straightforward, if you stick to the rules there will be no problems.

marcus comes from one of the upstairs rooms.  he is wearing short trousers, long socks, a white shirt and a school cap.  he Locks the door behind him and begins to come down the stairs.

CHLOE:                     Ah, Christopher.

MARCUS:                  (to chloe)  She’s resting now.  It was all fine, I played for a bit, helped organise her photographs, nothing arduous.

CHLOE:                     Christopher, I’d like to introduce you to your new sister.  Christina, your brother Christopher.  I have to go and do the morning fan mail.  Christopher will fill you in on the way things work and show you your locker in the Green Room.  I’ve had all Christina’s costumes dry cleaned, you’ll find them on the rail next to your locker.  There are some background books on the table.  I will check in on you later and see how you are doing and maybe later you can have your first audience with Mommie.

exit chloe to her own rooms

MARCUS:                  Hi – nice to meet you.  We’ve been without a Christina for a couple of weeks now, and it was getting tricky.  Had to maintain that you were away at boarding school – but she wanted you home for the holidays.  Who else have you met?

MARY:                        Just Betty.  Who else is there?

MARCUS:                  Only Edith, a cook and cleaner – not really part of the regular cast, she doesn’t get to meet with Mommie.  Then there are some intermittent people, just come in for a day or two at a time – we’ve had Douglas Fairbanks Jr – he was her first husband – Rosalind Russell, even Marilyn Monroe once, but that was a bit of a disaster.  No, the regular cast is just you, me and dragon lady.

MARY:                        Yes, I did get that impression.

MARCUS:                  Oh, she’s all right, as long as you play by the rules – but woe betide you if you cross her.  Better to play safe.  I’ve been here over a year now and not really had any trouble.  Been through four different Christinas in that time though.  Not a bad gig really compared with some of the acting work I was getting, when I was getting any at all.

MARY:                        I know the feeling.

MARCUS:                  It certainly pays the bills and can tide you over until the RSC come knocking at your door.

MARY:                        I think they’ve lost my address – but one can live in hope.  I’m right in thinking that she’s the sister?

MARCUS:                  Yes.  She set this whole thing up after the accident – quite an achievement really when you think about it.

MARY:                        What exactly happened?  The accident?

MARCUS:                  It was two years ago now, three come Christmas.  You remember Henry Horn, right?  Used to pop up on chat shows all the time, his schtick was impersonating famous screen icons – he did Marlene, Katherine Hepburn, a pretty good Joan Collins, that sort of thing.  Well, he was working on a stage show based on the feud between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis; he was going to play them both.  Thought it was going to be his magnum opus, the one that would elevate him from fringe drag queen to high art icon.  He was off the scene for almost a year, became quite a recluse, doing his research, preparing his script.  Of course, a year of research meant a year of no income and he was only too eager when the offer came in to turn on the Christmas lights in Croydon High St – apparently, some footballer had dropped out at the last moment - you know the sort of thing, they can’t afford an A-Lister, it’s not Oxford St.  He turns up in full Joan Crawford drag – publicity stunt, push the upcoming show.  Anyway, turns out the big switch thing is miswired – ZAP!, 20,000 Volts of electricity.  Miracle he survived really; he almost didn’t, he was in a coma for three months.

MARY:                        Wow.

MARCUS:                  And when he came out of it, well the rest is history, quite literally; he woke up as Joan Crawford.

MARY:                        And all this?

MARCUS:                  A mis en scene fit for Joan Crawford herself – completely constructed by his sister, funded by a very handsome insurance payout.  Eat your heart out ‘Neverland Ranch’ – this is the real thing, a living fantasy.  Look, there are some books over there that I’m supposed to show you.  This one is Henry’s biography written before the accident.  It’s the least useful practically, but it tells you something about the man he was before he became your mother.  The others are all about the great JC, Saint Joan, La Diva.  They are all kept in the green room along with your wigs and costumes, over there.  Here’s a key for you – keep it locked at all times, Mommie cannot be allowed in there.

MARY:                        How come you stuck this out for so long.

MARCUS:                  Oh, you know, it’s regular and not too difficult.  And you get kind of into it after a while.  Do you have a mother?

MARY:                        Doesn’t everyone?

MARCUS:                  I don’t.  Well, I guess I did, technically.  She walked out on my Dad when I was two.  I don’t remember her, nothing.

MARY:                        I’m sorry.

MARCUS:                  Don’t be, I did OK.  But I always had this feeling that I’d missed out on something.  Never thought I’d know what it was like to be the centre of someone’s life in that way.  Then this job came along and there was Mommie, a Mommie of my own.  You think that makes me odd?

MARY:                        No, I…

MARCUS:                  You do, don’t you?

MARY:                        I’m not judging, obviously, whatever it is works for you.

MARCUS:                  And it will for you in time.  Just give it time.

MARY:                        The last Christina, what happened to her?  Betty was very cagey.

MARCUS:                  Ah, yes.  Nice girl, but loose lips cost lives, or in this case jobs.  She was caught using her mobile telephone to call a newspaper office no less.  She said she was just calling to place a small ad – but it’s zero tolerance here and no union to complain to.

MARY:                        This whole thing, it is all very…

MARCUS:                  Weird.

MARY:                        Yes.

MARCUS:                  I know, but you get used to it, trust me.  Go on, try one of the costumes, see if they fit.  Try ‘age 6 birthday party’, that’s one of my favourites.  They are all clearly marked, in there.

mary exits to the green room.  marcus picks up the forms that christina has filled in from the table, he takes a small tape recorder from his pocket and, making sure that no-one else can hear, he speaks into it.

MARCUS(cont):    Day three hundred and seventy two.  A new Christina started today.  Mary Fincham, National Insurance NA324308G.  We’ll see if she lasts any longer than the others.  

the doorbell rings. marcus answers the door, it is david, but marcus will not let him come in.

MARCUS:                  Yes?

DAVID:                       My name is David Weller.

MARCUS:                  And?

DAVID:                       I’ve come to see Mr Horn – Henry Horn.

MARCUS:                  Sorry, there is no-one at home.

DAVID:                       That’s not true.

MARCUS:                  Look, I just work here.

DAVID:                       Well, is Chloe in?

MARCUS:                  No.  Sorry, just me.  You’ll have to come back some other time.

DAVID:                       (takes out a card,scribbles something on it and hands it to marcus) Here.  Give this to Chloe.  And tell her I will be back at ten o’clock tomorrow and that I’ll not take no for an answer.  I will see him.

MARCUS:                  It’s no good…

DAVID:                       Just give her the card, OK?

david leaves and marcus locks the front door.  marcus records a note on his tape recorder

MARCUS:                  Ten fifteen AM, David Weller paid an unexpected visit.  Says he’s coming back at ten tomorrow, must engineer to be around.

enter chloe. marcus  hurriedly pockets his tape recorder.

CHLOE:                     Was that the door?

MARCUS:                  Yes.  It was (reads from the card) David Weller BDS – a dentist?  I didn’t know they did house calls.  He said to give you this (hands over the card).

CHLOE:                     Shit.

MARCUS:                  Are you all right?

CHLOE:                     Yes. Fine.

MARCUS:                  He says he’ll be back at ten o’clock tomorrow.  Do you mind if I ask who he is?

CHLOE:                     He is a shadow from the past.  Someone I thought we’d never see again.

MARCUS:                  A friend of Mommie’s?

CHLOE:                     That’s what he would have you believe; a friend from before the accident, from before Mommie.  But he wasn’t there for him, not when he needed him.  Who needs friends like that?  He took off to Australia.  I thought that was the last we’d hear from him.  I’ll see him tomorrow, put him straight once and for all.

enter mary, she is wearing a little girls dress, white ankle socks with patent mary janes and a wig of blonde ringlet curls.

MARY:                        How’s this?

CHLOE:                     Perfect, you look just perfect, doesn’t she, Christopher?

MARCUS:                  Oh, yes.

CHLOE:                     Come here a moment.  Closer.  Are you wearing lipstick?

MARY:                        Well, just my normal makeup – I never thought…

CHLOE:                     That will never do at all, Mommie would hate that – come here.

chloe takes out a handkerchief and wipes off mary’s makeup as if she is a little girl

CHLOE(cont):        There we go, that’s better.

HENRY(off):           Christina!  Christopher!  Betty, I want you to bring the children to see me right now, understand?  Right this minute.

MARCUS:                  Showtime!

chloe straightens up the ‘children’, mary looks alarmed. 

BLACK-OUT. 

Last edited on Sat Jul 19th, 2008 09:21 am by tsaurus

Last edited on Sat Jul 19th, 2008 09:35 am by tsaurus