| Author | Post |
|---|
AustinS
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jul 7th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 12 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Fri Aug 1st, 2008 06:53 pm |
|
Hey everybody,
This is a one act piece I've been working on. I'm posting the first ten pages of what will be the around a thirty page piece. I wanted to experiment with layered situations and see how they worked together to build the stakes. I really want to know how its working. If the layers are not working I hope its still entertaining. All your criticism (good and bad) is very much appreciated.
INT. A LIVING ROOM, THE AFTERNOON
Alex and Danielle are laying together
on a couch. A tangle of limbs wrestling
their own passion. Finally Danielle
stops all of the kissing and looks into
Alex's eyes.
DANIELLE
How long have you known you loved me?
ALEX
Do you want the real answer or the cutesy answer?
DANIELLE
Can I have both?
ALEX
Hmmm... sounds like a lot of work so I'm going to have to say
no.
DANIELLE
OK then, the real answer.
ALEX
The real answer? And I had you pegged for the romantic type.
Danielle starts hitting Alex with a pillow.
ALEX
OK, OK, there is no need for such violence... I'll tell
you... I'll tell you... uh... Oh my gosh I think I'm a little
concussed! You gave me a concussion and now I can't remember
what on earth we we're talking about... wait a second... who
are you?
DANIELLE
Oh no you poor baby. Let me remind you.
She kisses him passionately
ALEX
Oh hey Danielle! When did you get here?
He looks around as if to see where she
came from. Danielle hits him again.
ALEX
Alright I'll stop... Sheez.
DANIELLE
Just tell me.
ALEX
It was last weekend when we were at your cottage. We had gone
down to the lake and I was trying to put sunscreen on myself.
But there is always that stupid spot in the middle of my back
I can never get. You came over, gave me a kiss on the cheek
and got the spot for me.
DANIELLE
That's when you knew you loved me? When you said it was last
weekend I thought for sure you were going to say something
else. Like you fell for me then because it was the first time
we slept together.
ALEX
That was later that same day. So I'm sure the sex didn't
hurt, more of a reinforcement of sorts. We may have slept
together at night but I fell in love with you during the day.
DANIELLE
I should have asked for the cute answer.
ALEX
Why? I liked that you cared. I like that you were worried
about me. Thats why-
DANIELLE
So let me get this straight; you only fell for me after you
knew that I cared to a certain degree?
ALEX
(Back peddling)
No I-
DANIELLE
But you held yourself back until you knew that when you fell
for me I wouldn't let you fall flat.
ALEX
No. No I just didn't want to say it until I was sure, and at
that exact moment I became sure.
DANIELLE
I'm just glad you're sure. I'm glad you're sure with me. I
couldn't stand it if you we're sure with anyone but me. I
know you were sure with other girls before me but I'm sure
you won't be sure with anyone else. Why would you? How could
you? When you have me in front of you.
ALEX
When I'm with you I can see, but otherwise I'm blinded.
Everything else seems to matter so little to me that it all
but disappears...
DANIELLE
Aww... Was that the cutesy answer?
ALEX
Yeah baby. It was.
BLACKOUT
LATER THAT DAY, EVENING.
Alex is on the couch reading a book. He
flips from one page to the next and
lets go a small sigh. Pause. Enter
Kristen carrying a school bag.
KRISTEN
Hey, how was your day?
She walks over to Alex as he is
speaking and gives him a kiss on the
cheek. He doesn't react.
ALEX
Pretty boring as usual, I basically just read all day. How
was your shift at work?
KRISTEN
The usual boring, bad tipping, idiot customers. One guy had
the nerve to yell at me for putting ice in his soda when he
asked for no ice. He literally blew up on me. It was an
honest mistake that he made me pay for. A dollar tip from a
dinner party of five. I almost cried. - thank goodness I have
you to come home to.
She sits down next to him and snuggles
his shoulder.
KRISTEN
You remember when we first met?
No acknowledgement
KRISTEN
You came into the restaurant all by yourself on a Saturday
afternoon. You were so cute, you wore this navy blue cabled
sweater, khakis, a brown leather jacket, and a green scarf. I
had no other tables and I hated seeing you alone like that,
so I sat with you while you ate. We talked and talked about
everything. I don't think I've ever learned so much about a
person in such a short time. Nor have I ever told someone I
barely knew so much about myself. But for some reason I had
this trust in you. I don't think you quite knew that then,
maybe you just thought I was working for a bigger tip.
But that wasn't the case. Nonetheless you we're my best
tipper all week. You got up to leave and I said my good byes
and told you to come back sometime. Then a funny thing
happened I noticed your scarf was sitting on the floor. It
was much too cold outside and you lived too far away, giving
you too many reasons why you shouldn't be without a scarf. So
I picked it up and ran outside to catch you. I caught up with
you about a block away and that's when I saw the way you had
been looking at me change. It was a subtle difference, just a
shimmer or a glow to them. But it was definitely there,
because right after I saw it you kissed me. And we have been
together ever since. Six months to the day in fact.
She kisses him.
KRISTEN
So you know I've been thinking about next year and where I
want to live. And I want to live with you. We could try to
find a place near the water, but still not to far from
downtown and everything else.
ALEX
Yea, sounds good honey.
KRISTEN
Really? Great! Because I've been thinking a lot lately about
how little we get to see each other lately. With me so busy
with work and it seems every weekend I get off your family
has another wedding or somebody dies!...Sorry, that was
insensitive. You know I understand right? I just hate not
seeing you. Is your aunt doing OK by the way? You said you
had to get over their because the doctors were only giving
her days to live. But here we are almost a week later and
she's still alive. Right? I mean you would have told me if
she died.
ALEX
Yea she is still hanging on.
KRISTEN
Well I mean if she has lived this long and the doctors
thought she wasn't going to make it. Then what do they
possibly know? Maybe she will pull through.
ALEX
I hope so. But then again who knows. I might try and go see
her again this weekend.
KRISTEN
But we we're going to go do a drive along the lake and into
the country. We keep putting this off, and you promised me.
ALEX
I know I did, but its not like I chose this.
KRISTEN
I know, I know. This must be so hard for you and here I am
making it worse. I could go with you if you think it would
make things easier.
ALEX
I wish you could babe, but the stupid doctors say its family
only.
KRISTEN
But I could just go with and stay at your mom's house and
then not go to the hospital.
ALEX
Oh honey I couldn't make you do that. I'd just feel bad all
day thinking about you stuck in my old house with nothing to
do. And this is hard enough as it is. Why don't you just stay
here and I can call you at every opportunity.
KRISTEN
Its like you said though right? They don't let cell phone use
in the hospitals because it interferes with the equipment.
ALEX
Well then I'll go outside. Either that or I'll just miss you
so much that I'll call and kill everyone in the hospital with
a pacemaker. It'd be worth it.
He kisses her. She laughs and pushes
him away
KRISTEN
You just call me whenever you get the chance.
ALEX
Will do.
Pause.
KRISTEN
When do you think you'll be leaving?
ALEX
Sometime tomorrow I'm not really sure when.
KRISTEN
Alright, well I have to work a double tomorrow. So I'll
probably be out of here before you wake up. So
I'll just say my good byes now.
She gets on top of him and they begin
to kiss.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE NEXT DAY
Enter Alex and Danielle. During the
following dialogue: Danielle walks to
the couch and puts down her purse
beside it. Meanwhile Alex gets himself
a glass of water and an ashtray. He
joins Danielle on the couch and throws
his pack of cigarettes up on the coffee
table.
DANIELLE
You have to tell me how you found such a wonderful spot.
ALEX
I was bored one day and just decided to go for a drive. A
full pack of cigarettes, an ice cold coke and all the FM
radio I could have ever wanted, it all let me keep on
driving. I just followed the beach. You can pretty much take
the main road along the lake the whole way there.
DANIELLE
Well the exploring certainly paid off. I just love watching
the big boats pass by. Going about their work oblivious to
our voyeuristic escapades. The boats were the only part of
the lake today that didn't fit into the placid scene but yet
they were my favorite part. They we're-
ALEX
You liked the boats more than me?
DANIELLE
Hmmm... so maybe the boats were my second favorite part.
ALEX
Damn straight.
DANIELLE
Or maybe you are just mad because I'm not the first girl to
say the boats were her favorite part.
ALEX
Nonsense. I haven't brought anybody else to my secret spot.
And that's the truth.
DANIELLE
What about the girls you we're sure about?
ALEX
Not even them, you're the most sure I've ever been about a
girl.
DANIELLE
Good. I like that. It makes me special.
ALEX
Everything about you makes you special.
DANIELLE
Do you know when I fell in love with you?
ALEX
No.
DANIELLE
You don't?
ALEX
Nope. Not at all.
DANIELLE
Can you guess?
ALEX
That day at your cottage? Something just appeared to you like
it did to me?
DANIELLE
No, it was before then.
ALEX
Before then?
DANIELLE
Yeah.
ALEX
But we haven't known each other that long.
DANIELLE
I know. But I also know what I like.
ALEX
Do tell.
DANIELLE
You remember how we met?
ALEX
Yeah it was the coffee shop.
DANIELLE
Yeah but what happened?
ALEX
Hmm... I just flat out don't remember.
DANIELLE
I remember very well. You sat facing the door; watching
everyone who came in. But when I walked through the door
everyone else seemed to disappear. I remember feeling your
eyes on me and just blushing. I waited for my coffee to be
made but I couldn't help but keep looking over at you. You
were staring. After I got my coffee I had to sit where I
could see you. I tried to read the paper but it was too hard.
I wanted to look over at you. You had me locked in, I wasn't
the only girl in the room but you didn't have eyes for anyone
but me. It be-
ALEX
You were after all the prettiest girl there.
DANIELLE
Other guys were there looking at other girls.
ALEX
Yeah, but those guys have no taste.
DANIELLE
I'd agree with you, but they probably wouldn't. Nonetheless
it became harder and harder for me to focus on what I was
reading. Every time I glanced up you were looking at me.
Whether or not you were staring the whole time I don't know.
But I never caught you looking anywhere else. Maybe you are
just that good, maybe you fooled me. But I don't think so. I
think if I had caught you staring at your toes or paging
through a book I never would have let you talk to me. But I
knew from the sight of your look that I was what you cared
most about in that room. It made me wonder how much you'd
care about me outside of that room. When you got up and
brought me over to your table I knew I'd find out. When I
realized your coffee was cold and full, I knew I'd like what
I was about to discover. I think it was from that first
glance as I walked in the door, all the world but me
disappeared from your gaze, that's when I knew I would love
you. So maybe I didn't fall in love right then, but I knew I
was going to.
ALEX
But when did you actually fall in love with me?
DANIELLE
I don't know.
ALEX
How can you not know?
DANIELLE
Because it just sort of happened over time.
ALEX
That almost doesn't seem fair. I was able to give you an
exact moment.
DANIELLE
Well I guess they say love is mysterious for a reason.
ALEX
That they do.
DANIELLE
Well then, what should we do now?
ALEX
I think we should get going.
DANIELLE
Get going?
ALEX
Yeah, lets go grab a bite to eat.
DANIELLE
Good idea I'm starving. But don't you have anything here?
ALEX
Sure I do, but I don't feel like cooking.
DANIELLE
Fair enough, just wait a second while I go freshen up.
ALEX
Alright.
Danielle exits to go to the washroom.
Meanwhile Alex walks around, grabs a
book and sits down on the couch. He
searches for his page and as soon as he
finds it... Enter Kristen.
KRISTEN
Hey, I thought you left already.
ALEX
I'm actually just about to get out of here. I was about to
leave but then I realized I had left my wallet.
Pulls wallet out of his back pocket to
show her.
KRISTEN
Ha, that would be a bummer to leave here. Hey who's car is
that outside?
ALEX
The red one? Or the blue one?
KRISTEN
Ummm... both.
ALEX
Well the blue one is the neighbor's, I was talking to him
this morning and he just picked it up last night. And the red
one I borrowed from a friend to take back home. Would've
liked to use the neighbors though, it's much nicer.
KRISTEN
That's still nice of your friend.
ALEX
Yeah I thought so. But hey I really got to get going here.
Why don't I give you a ride back to work?
KRISTEN
Can we stop someplace and get food? I was going to make
something here, but I really want to see you.
ALEX
Yeah sure. Lets go.
She exits, he grabs the car keys from
Danielle's purse. Gives a quick nervous
look over to the washroom and then
exits. Pause. Toilet flush. Sink
sounds. A cough. Pause. Enter Danielle.
She walks around the stage.
DANIELLE
Alex? Alex? Alex?! Hey where are you!? ALEX! Alex?
She goes off stage and then re-enters
scratching her head.
DANIELLE
I told you to wait!
Last edited on Fri Aug 1st, 2008 06:56 pm by AustinS
|
Current time is 12:36 am | |
|
|
|
