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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > Jenga

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Jenga  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Sun May 31st, 2009 05:18 pm
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lostsocks
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Mana: 
I've settled on the temporary title of Jenga for the time being (temporary because I have a deep-set and entirely irrational hatred of one-word titles), but anywho, I have what is I think my first draft (I know, I know it took me this long to write a 9000 word play *blush*)

And any amount of feedback would be extremely welcome

http://www.socksofwrath.co.uk/1886/Jenga.pdf

I popped it in a PDF file for ease of reading, should be able to open it directly in browser I think

Last edited on Sun May 31st, 2009 05:19 pm by lostsocks

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 Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2009 01:13 pm
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muncy
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Mana: 
I enjoyed this. The scenario might still be a bit sensitive for some audiences despite the obvious fantasy element to it but there are some very funny lines and who wouldn't be up for a bit of stalkeye in the right circumstances!

Staging might be difficult, it seems quite complex for a short play, but an imaginative director could work round it.

Well done.

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 Posted: Mon Jun 1st, 2009 06:59 pm
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lostsocks
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Mana: 
I was worried about 9/11 comparisons, but I guess they're hard to avoid to an extant.

I'm not even sure how I would stage it :)

I assume that a director would have to use a lot of interpretation to get round some of it

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 Posted: Sun Jun 7th, 2009 02:56 am
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stephenw
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Mana: 
This is, according to my -- reports -- a fantastic play.  I'll return to this later, hopefully with a less ambiguous opinion.  But from what I've read I've enjoyed it.  It's a little disturbing -- and yeah, the subject matter might make some people unconfortable -- but for that very reason I think you're onto something.

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 Posted: Tue Jun 9th, 2009 01:28 am
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Clausey
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Mana: 
Can I simply say wonderful play?! Huge fan of absurdism, the message was great and I’d love to see a production of it. Each of the characters was handled prolifically! I also quite fancy seeing how the use of language differs culturally and regionally.

 
The only thing I was confused about was if their was any signifance over the number of the floor. Not the overall number but the way they were each given a name.
 
For the staging, a revolving stage might be up for notion, having four different sides for the primary, 90 degree angel, ceiling, and the final scene with Mr. Malthus.
 
As for Mark's entrance, the only way I see him is being completely singed and having a small flame going on a certain body part or article of clothing (I’ve seen it done on stage before but it must be done very carefully). However, there might be some chemicals that create the appearance of fire, whether they’re easily accesable or safe I’m not sure.

Some of the black out time might have to be expanded in order to be able to do some of the sequences.
 
Good luck, you’re going to need a hell of a production team but it's a hell of a play!

Last edited on Tue Jun 9th, 2009 01:29 am by Clausey

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 Posted: Tue Jun 9th, 2009 05:57 pm
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lostsocks
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Mana: 
Thanks Clausey :)

I hadn't thought to give significance the numbers of the floors... which in many ways is a little unlike me. Though if you spot the number 23 popping up in my plays from time to time that is usually a deliberate nod to my Discordian friends.

Other numbers I like using are 108 (Important number in Buddhism) and 1886 (it's a long story... and did you know that 1+8+8+6 = 23?) but neither appeared in this play. But I like the thought of working something like that in now that I've got the first draft written out.

I like the rotating stage idea too, I've seen it used in a small Edinburgh play to very good effect. They did teach us the basics of setting people on fire when I studied drama at uni, but it's something I would need to research very closely if I ever tried it :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it

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