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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > The Wait - 10 minute play about family and regrets,

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The Wait - 10 minute play about family and regrets,  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2014 08:07 pm
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RoWright
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text deleted by author

Last edited on Mon Feb 16th, 2015 10:28 am by RoWright

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 Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2014 10:35 pm
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Edd
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Cristian,

Nice. Very nice. Two distinct voices. Absolutely engaging dialogue, pace and with the feel of mystery about it.

I have but one thing you might want to ponder. At the end when MAN says, "Thanks. What's your name again," I would go BLACKOUT and leave it at that. But that's me.

Sounds written by a seasoned writer. Very impressed.

Thank you.
Edd
So you know who is saying this: http://www.edwardcrosbywells.net

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 Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2014 10:41 pm
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RoWright
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Thank you for the feedback Edd. Haven't written much lately but trying to get back at it through submission calls that catch my attention. This was one of them http://www.moderndaygriot.org/#!in-transit-/c2oj

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 Posted: Fri May 30th, 2014 04:14 am
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Laphillyboy
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Has the text of the play been deleted?  How do I view it?

- Jim C

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 Posted: Fri May 30th, 2014 04:19 am
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RoWright
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Thank you for the interest. Reposted it. Don't like leaving work on for too long due to many script hunters out there. Thank you again.

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 Posted: Sat May 31st, 2014 12:44 pm
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Laphillyboy
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Christian:

I enjoyed reading your play.  It is inspiring me to write a 10 minute one myself.  I picked up a book of ten minute plays at the library and read about nine of them so far and this one is better than several in the book.  I agree with EDD about there being "two distinct voices."  That is important and you do it well.  I have a problem with many of my characters sounding the same. 

Your play has a clear beginning, middle and end which is also important for me to remember.  Thanks.

I have a play I'd like to post on here for critique but every time I try to Cut and Paste it the format and spacing is a mess.  How did you get yours so nice and clean?

- Jim C

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 Posted: Sat May 31st, 2014 04:37 pm
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RoWright
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Thanks for the comment. this play was just rejected from a competition so it's good to hear a kind word about it despite its shortcomings. This is a copy/paste from a word doc with 1" margins all around and character names at 2.5 in the middle. It's not the real professional way to do it though. I do have the final draft professional software but for some reason even though it makes everything look clean and ready for proper submission...it gives me a feeling of writing somewhat artificially...even the box the software comes in says "just add words".
The 10 minute play is an interesting 'animal' to deal with. It's of course the matter of scale of the posed problem. You might find it helpful to give yourself some limitations when you write this sort of play...and the ones that work best do sound downright silly - like one of the characters only being able to agree, or another to disagreeing all the time, or one keeping his/her lines to 5 words, or every line in the play increasing by one word (from 1 to 15 or 30 and going back to 1). again within these very technical limitations you might be able to find different voices. Take this advice of course with a lot of grains of salt...i hate exercises and don't take my work too seriously which is probably a big mistake if you really want to make it in that real playwriting scarf wearing pipe smoking world. I'm sort of gravitating or levitating around it and every time I go in i'm like ...no f-ing way. I just spent 50$ on two best play anthologies for 2013-2014 and they will make excellent doorstops...to an extent you can tell which one was written in which MFA program...Good luck with your play and post it here when it's done. Write fast and don't think about it too much. It will come through sooner than you expect. Thanks for the feedback again. Best. C.

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