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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > The Wild Northsoutheastwest

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 Posted: Sat Jul 21st, 2007 04:58 pm
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lostsocks
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Joined: Sun Jun 11th, 2006
Location: Cambridge, United Kingdom
Posts: 226
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Any feedback on this one is very much welcome,
Not sure if the broken rhyming works at all.

Thoughts and suggestions appreciated

The Wild Northsoutheastwest

In space, everyone has an empire,
the martians don't stop landing
How can you run out of room
with the universe expanding?

Can you imagine a place,
where the fields are blue,
the sky is green,
Why imagine? I've already been!

Where the men are men
and the women are robots
Where odd folk speak in foreign tongues
With more rhyming words than ours

I bet you think those geeks are mad
But just you wait and see
I can lift a world above my head
when they switch on zero gravity

Anything will happen
when your garden is infinity
The truth is always up there
It's the law of probability (probably)

the sky is your limit
but we just kept on going,

Don't let anyone tell you,
there aren't fairies at the end of the universe

In space, everyone has an empire.

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