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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > CHICAGO LAKEFRONT NOVEMBRRRRR

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 Posted: Fri Nov 16th, 2007 07:31 pm
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timmy
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Mana: 
...take yourself more seriously as a poet.  Wonderful pictures here.  thought: ONE more stanza to finish the thought that caused you to ponder this scene.  Or not.  i love "postcard" poems.  i've been to this place but never in cold November.  Your poem "shows" me what it's like and i always appreciate learning something new. 

timmy

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 Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 09:18 pm
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kris
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Mana: 
Hi, in media res,

I'm no poet or poetry critic, but this poem made me feel chilly. Also, I really like the strong verbs in the last three verses.

kris

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 Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 08:49 pm
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in media res
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CHICAGO LAKEFRONT NOVEMBRRRRR


The great fountain silenced.
Veils of prismed rainbows disappeared.

Hot dog stand closed.
Ice-cream truck gone.
Childrens' glee vanished.

Snow-fences station the beach.
“DANGER” signs sneer.

A college student huddles, back to stiff winds.
A white Labrador dares the roiling waves.
Racing leaves scurry grey like fleeing mice.

Miles out, in choppy slated water,
Sun teasing light through clouds,
Sailboats tack North and South
Sulking to their winter moorings.


in media res

( I am not a poet, but on occasion I have fun tossing words against the wall and see if they stick. )

Last edited on Thu Nov 15th, 2007 08:53 pm by in media res

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