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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Best of Both Worlds

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 Posted: Mon Dec 3rd, 2007 04:09 pm
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Mana: 
Before the winter storm one of the last gaggle of geese flew

overhead it was dark the geese were up there it was raining

i imagined the drops rolling off their backs like pearls, feathers

ruffled for protection pearls being swept into clouds, nature’s

cloud seeding planted in clouds. i finally stopped the rain did not

 

There’s hardly a soul out tonight there must be greener places

to go i am by the river near my house i walk looking for a soul

and wonder does the river have mine? A jewel of time by the river,

alone, rain acting like another outside skin, wet, it will be easily

dried off unlike my thoughts of you when you smiled earlier

and promised me tomorrow another day of loving me

 

As i walk and the rain everywhere and the geese overhead and

the river at my feet in two worlds one with you it’s warm my soul

like a candle your breath like a falling star we each get a wish

and mine is to know yours the other is to be alone wishing i’m not    

Last edited on Mon Dec 3rd, 2007 04:10 pm by timmy

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 Posted: Wed Dec 5th, 2007 09:17 pm
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in media res
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Mana: 
timmy,

I have read this more than several times since you posted it. I mean, I come back to it. No, it gently, but insistently pulls be back to it with an unseen astral thread.

I also have read this poem out loud several times playing around with it - which I always do with poetry. It is what I call "quite playable." It feels sensual to the tongue and lips and slides deeply to the heart and is of the forest and of the earth and of the stars spiritual.

I have told you before, but I will tell you again: It brings me great joy to have you continue to post your poems for us.

Thanks, as always.

in media res

Last edited on Wed Dec 5th, 2007 09:18 pm by in media res

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