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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > What Happened

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 Posted: Sun Feb 10th, 2008 03:51 pm
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kris
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Joined: Sat Aug 11th, 2007
Location: Centennial, Colorado USA
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Mana: 
timmy, I don't know how to critique poetry, but every now and then I read a poem where I get a chill at the end and it's as if the veil between appearance and reality has lifted for a moment. I got that feeling from this poem.

kris

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 Posted: Sat Feb 9th, 2008 11:31 pm
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Mana: 
father never took slow showers.
he never talked about his dreams

over coffee or between bites of corn
flakes or raison toast with peanut butter.

he was never religious, even after Lisa
died his hands never prayed more.

i often went to bed with his Minneapolis
voice on the radio, static like white

bags of salt, selling London Luggage
leather or used cars from places

like Thorp or Chippewa Falls, cities
that supplied the world with cozy children.

there is no way back from there, and even
when i wake up with you on the edge

of my bed, trying to tell me your whole
life story in short sentences, i write

a poem and remember you tucking
me into my small bed with deftness.

i considered you a genius
in the small city by the river in the trees.

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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > What Happened Top




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