The Playwrights Forum Home 
 

SEARCH STAGEPLAYS.COM
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PLAY DATABASE

  STAGEPLAYS BOOKSHOP NEW CYBERPRESS PLAYS PLAYWRIGHTING BOOKS PUBLISH MY PLAY AFFILIATE PROGRAM THE THEATRE BANNER EXCHANGE  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > The Photograph

* STAGEPLAYS WANTS TO PUBLISH YOUR PLAY *
click here for details

 Moderated by: Paddy, Edd
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
The Photograph  Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 01:14 am
  PM Quote Reply
1st Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 

They sent me a photograph of her
She was smiling
In the conservatory
I was happy
She was happy
They said she smiles
all the time
Just sits there and smiles
In a world of her own

I was content to know
she was happy
smiling all day long

I was 3000 miles away
thinking she was smiling all day
Then I got the telephone call
I can't say what they told me right now
But maybe one day

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 02:13 am
  PM Quote Reply
2nd Post
Deirdre
Member


Joined: Tue Mar 18th, 2008
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 30
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Oh. This poem is deceptively simple and manages to get under one's skin with a terrible feeling of dread. It's not so much a poem to critique as a prayer to offer.
Very effective.

d.


Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 05:46 am
  PM Quote Reply
3rd Post
Edd
Moderator


Joined: Sat Jun 10th, 2006
Location: Denver, Colorado USA
Posts: 1622
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Imelda,

So many emotions in so short a time.  Disturbing.  Dark.  Scary.  Beautiful.  Powerful.  Uncomfortable anxiety. 

~Edd

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 01:51 pm
  PM Quote Reply
4th Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Thank you Deirdre

I wrote it last night in 2 miins, it just came to me when I was reading this Critique my Poem page.  It was after I wrote it that I noticed it was up for Critiqueing, and I was going to Delete, but decided against it.
Potabasil

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 01:53 pm
  PM Quote Reply
5th Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Thank you Master

Imelda

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sat Mar 22nd, 2008 11:27 pm
  PM Quote Reply
6th Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Any poem that irks a reader is a good poem. The teeter-totter "up & down" of emotion is wonderful.

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 08:20 pm
  PM Quote Reply
7th Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Timmy

Thank you

Potabasil

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 08:40 pm
  PM Quote Reply
8th Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Hi Timmy

Easter Sunday afternoon, hubby has taken children to the park.  The Lamb is in the oven and I'm sitting here reading through all your poetry.

They are  wonderful, I just love them.

I'm nominating you as the Resident Poet or is it The Poet in Residence?

A lovely way to spend an afternoon
Thank you

Potabasil

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Mon Mar 24th, 2008 08:27 pm
  PM Quote Reply
9th Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
a compliment. Many thanks.

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Thu Mar 27th, 2008 03:07 am
  PM Quote Reply
10th Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 688
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 

Last edited on Thu Mar 27th, 2008 04:36 am by Potabasil

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Feb 5th, 2010 07:33 pm
  PM Quote Reply
11th Post
Paulette123
Guest
 

Joined: 
Location:  
Posts: 
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
wow a lot of emotions but I love it!!!!!!!!

It is difficult to give that variety of emotions in a poem!

Good work

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

Current time is 09:42 am  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > The Photograph Top




UltraBB 1.17 Copyright © 2007-2011 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1640 seconds (17% database + 83% PHP). 28 queries executed.