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The Playwrights' Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Poem > In Your Eyes
In Your Eyes
 Moderated by: Paddy, Edd  
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 370
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
  Posted: Fri Aug 22nd, 2008 07:10 pm
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The sky resembled something
different last night

like something with something
else behind it

like looking at a snowglobe
in summer

or something like that

*

I left the house to remove
myself from the scene

to re-enact that which made
me happy earlier

alone, i did that thing
again:

i covered a dark patch on my face
with cream

*

No matter how long i stayed
outside

my name followed me
like a secret

but no one was there
to tell
Potabasil
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Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: New Hampshire USA
Posts: 231
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
  Posted: Mon Aug 25th, 2008 01:59 am
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Timmy

Love it

Potabasil
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 370
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
  Posted: Thu Aug 28th, 2008 04:38 am
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Thank you.

timmy

 Current time is 11:36 pm



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