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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Memories Falling

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 Posted: Fri Dec 4th, 2009 05:59 pm
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TayTorTot1245
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Joined: Fri Dec 4th, 2009
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Mana: 
Memories Falling
 
Snow falls late at night,
So peaceful,
White fluffy balls
Like bundles of happy memories falling,
Reminding the green pine branches one bundle at a time.
The branches grow heavy with memories
Sagging in the cold stillness.
 
Sun rises,
Snow settled inches high,
Braches drooping in absolute tranquility,
An untouched white blanket covers as far as the eye can see,
Pure nature’s beauty,
“Perfect memories”.
 
Wind brings reluctant disorder.
Tops of trees begin to sway.
Snow begins to slip from the weighed down pine,
Hitting other bundles of memories as it gains speed downward.
Other bundles begin to fall.
Branches become more unstable.
Memories falling to the ground,
Splitting on every branch it passes,
Hurling out of control.
Finally hitting the ground
Creating a puff of impact,
Snow settles,
Leaving only
 A crater.

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 Posted: Fri Dec 4th, 2009 09:35 pm
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LickleLisha
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Mana: 
I love the way you've disguised the fact that your talking about emotions, I assume something bad, but portraying it through snow, something that everyone enjoys. It was very clever.
Loved it :)

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