The Playwrights Forum Home 
 

SEARCH STAGEPLAYS.COM
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PLAY DATABASE

  STAGEPLAYS BOOKSHOP NEW CYBERPRESS PLAYS PLAYWRIGHTING BOOKS PUBLISH MY PLAY AFFILIATE PROGRAM THE THEATRE BANNER EXCHANGE  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > After the Lunch

* STAGEPLAYS WANTS TO PUBLISH YOUR PLAY *
click here for details

 Moderated by: Paddy, Edd
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
After the Lunch  Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Wed Feb 1st, 2012 05:56 pm
  PM Quote Reply
1st Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1079
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
I dreamed I had lunch with father again,
and after the potato soup and cold radishes
sprinkled with salt, he told me secrets:

how there is warmth under a crust of snow
or how when love has gone or age has
overtaken there is no more room for crying;

that there is a time before and there is a time
after but people only recognize the in-between,
the time spent between lunch and dinner or dinner
and sleep or birth and love or life and death;

that someone will always be waiting, even
the venders at the farmer’s market, the ones
who sell yesterday’s picked peaches and plums
with all their promises of future flavor

Last edited on Wed Feb 1st, 2012 06:01 pm by timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Thu Feb 2nd, 2012 02:09 am
  PM Quote Reply
2nd Post
in media res
Moderator
 

Joined: Sun Jul 2nd, 2006
Location:  
Posts: 1926
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
timmy!

"vendors" not "venders!" First time I've seen you make a spelling error in your poems. It hurt my eye to see it coming from you. I had to put a poultice on it!

link: http://www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic10300.html

You grasped me by the throat on the first line.

Second stanza walloped me upside the "haid" as my friends below the Mason-Dixon line say.

Third stanza...whoa!

You gotta quit doin' this to me.

Keep 'em comin...please!

Best,

IMR

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Thu Feb 2nd, 2012 03:54 am
  PM Quote Reply
3rd Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1079
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Glad you liked poem. After writing about someone close to me, I sometimes am unable to write a word for two or three days.

As far as my word choice, my buddy http://www.dictionary.com is my best friend


World English Dictionary
vendor or vender (ˈvɛndɔː, ˈvɛndə)

— n
1. chiefly law a person who sells something, esp real property
2. another name for vending machine

Best I can do ;)

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

Current time is 11:03 am  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > After the Lunch Top




UltraBB 1.17 Copyright © 2007-2011 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1363 seconds (13% database + 87% PHP). 26 queries executed.