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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Shame, Really

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A Shame, Really  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Thu Mar 21st, 2013 03:01 am
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in media res
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timmy,

Love this:

I hope
you don’t meet anyone as lonely
as you to make you feel okay about this

I think half the world's problems are attributable to just this type of meeting.

best,

IMR

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 Posted: Wed Mar 20th, 2013 04:26 pm
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katoagogo
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Hahahaha! Okeedoke.

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 Posted: Tue Mar 19th, 2013 10:42 pm
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timmy
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Thanks for "digging" the poem. Appreciate that.

I rarely use the titles here if I'm thinking of sending something out. Gotta' call it something or it doesn't post, and I can't stand anything titled "Untitled"


timmy

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 Posted: Tue Mar 19th, 2013 06:18 pm
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katoagogo
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I dig this poem.
I'm glad I forgot to pay attention to the title
because the title is kinda judgmental
in the same way the poem ends up being.
So the title seems to tip the brim
into the sink before I'm there, you know?

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 Posted: Sun Mar 17th, 2013 09:22 pm
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timmy
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You look lonely there in the water,
half-submerged, biting the inside
of your cheek; you look lonely, you
know, not free or buoyant, enjoying
your own company like other girls
I’ve known, reaching for an odd hand,
switching, crossing ankles constantly;
you look lonely being yourself,
and for your own good, I hope
you don’t meet anyone as lonely
as you to make you feel okay about this

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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Shame, Really Top




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