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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Man

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A Man  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Tue Sep 17th, 2013 11:18 pm
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in media res
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Imelda,

I had never read this before.

My eyes were welling up at the end of the 6th line of his poem.

A hard blow.

Of course his final line is a grabber.

Yours:

"They took him back to where his brother sleeps" is quite touching."

Lot's of Irish family multi-generational plots in Chicago.

Best,

IMR

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 Posted: Sun Sep 8th, 2013 03:28 pm
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timmy
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So lovely, Imelda.

The simplicity (they, for instance) is wonderful. And yet all I need (a poem, in a church, Donnybrook) puts me there.

Thank you.

timmy

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 Posted: Sun Sep 8th, 2013 12:28 pm
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katoagogo
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I don't think I have.

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 Posted: Fri Sep 6th, 2013 11:53 pm
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Potabasil
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Thanks Katoagogo
Have you read his poem?
Potabasil

Last edited on Sat Sep 7th, 2013 12:02 am by Potabasil

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 Posted: Fri Sep 6th, 2013 10:34 pm
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katoagogo
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Potabasil - Glad to see a post from you!

What a beautiful tribute. It's a quiet and thoughtful piece.

I question whether it needs to first line. Without the first line the ambiguity in the word "read" (because it is both past and present tense in that same word form) would have me reading it both ways, or at least I would allow the possibility of the past and the present tense understanding of the word to exist. I wouldn't know for sure until the fourth line, and by then both past and present are firmly intertwined in my consciousness.

Thanks so much for posting!

-kato

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 Posted: Thu Sep 5th, 2013 08:20 pm
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Potabasil
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A man died
They read his poems
in the church
at Donnybrook
They took him back
to where his brother sleeps
in the grave that made
his poem "Mid- Term Break"
make the nation weep

Last edited on Sat Sep 7th, 2013 12:01 am by Potabasil

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