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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > As A Blind Man Travels

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As A Blind Man Travels  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Mon Dec 4th, 2017 08:32 am
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RTurco
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Mana: 
The Western Wall is notes perfumed
With a Love two thousand years wide.
I accidentally brushed hands pressed
With sweat and hope.
 
The bazaar of Marrakech
Is leather and sour sumac.
The vendors’ ululations are
My call to morning prayer.
Though I haggle with no one,
I am never alone.
 
As I’m carried away in a whoosh
Of motors, the streets of Trastevere
Hold me tight and smell of tripe.
A laundress with the voice of a toad
Barks romanesco at a man
From Bangladesh who hawks roses:
They are both Rome to me.
 
I can feel the cobblestones sinking,
But my bigoli in salsa whisper
In reassurance: There will always be
A Venice nestled in my memories.
 
The Prague Clock of the Old Town Square
Sounds like the face of a friend
As it rings out the places of the stars.
The underground trains speed
Toward Prosperity, with intercom
Voices that are soothing to me.
 
The salesmen of Soviet berets
Sing dirges; their nostalgia
Is their currency and their deceit.
Prague is the city of the future
Of the past.
 
Cities without sight:
Luna Parks for the mind
Conceal the mysteries of the soul.

Last edited on Mon Dec 4th, 2017 08:33 am by RTurco

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 Posted: Tue Jan 2nd, 2018 03:49 am
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timmy
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Mana: 
Someone's been traveling. I wouldn't agree w/the title at all. S5 is especially "sound" worthy. Nice rhythm throughout but especially enjoyed the Prague descriptions.

Happy New Year. Good to see you're still penning some words.

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 Posted: Tue Jan 2nd, 2018 04:34 am
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RTurco
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Mana: 
Thank you timmy! I have made some edits since I've posted it. Happy new year!

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 Posted: Thu Jan 4th, 2018 10:22 pm
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in media res
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Mana: 
Turco,

Read this about 20 times over the last several days.
Each time something hits me deeper.

Stirs up many senses of my own travels over the years,
most recently in Amsterdam and then Kazimierz in Krakow this past autumn.

Loved this wonderful ending which takes us from past to future in an instant:

The underground trains speed
Toward Prosperity, with intercom
Voices that are soothing to me.

The salesmen of Soviet berets
Sing dirges; their nostalgia
Is their currency and their deceit.
Prague is the city of the future
Of the past.

And yes, "You'll always have Venice!"

Hope it can keep its head above water!

Happy Trails to you!

Best,

IMR

P.S. Love the Title.

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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > As A Blind Man Travels Top




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