I got distracted by the wording of a couple of lines. Here's some ideas that seem to improve the flow at least to my ear.
(i) i’m lucky the box
has no cover & i can
still count & stars still
shine at night I love the opening stanza. Terrific.
the only thing i fear
is rain in the corrugated I would change this to "is the rain, in my corrugated world"
world in which i live I would eliminate this line.
rain is my enemy:
my heart becomes limp, "becomes limp" is too tentative. Maybe "my heart, limp,
arms peel in layers My arms peel in layers
of wood Maybe "for" wood
(ii) the sky was made so The sky created so
not everyone can reach it
it is mostly blue, Mostly blue
i am often sad So often I am sad
there must be a correlation
(ii) even in extremes,
we are all the same
justification often lies
in the temperature of water
or angle of mirror
Like all good art this one inspires acquistion. I want to own it in my spirit. But I fear changing will only destroy it. This is just some ideas for you to play around with. Not intending to change the concept or alter the style. You are great at both.