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Posted: Mon Apr 12th, 2010 03:31 pm |
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Moonmi![]()
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GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY MARCH 15, 44 BC CAESAR HAS BREAKFAST A BREAKFAST TABLE COMPLETE WITH TOAST AND COFFEE A MAN AND A WOMAN SIT AT THE TABLE EACH IS DRESSED IN SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES A TOGA THE WOMAN IS DOING HER NAILS THE MAN IS READING A NEWSPAPER CALPURNIA Jeesie! Jessie dear could you come in here please? A young woman appears she is dressed in something like animal hides and has the requisite maid hat on JESSIE Yes Ma'am? CALPURNIA Jessie you may clear breakfast please, but leave the coffee. JESSIE Yes Ma’am. She shuffles off CALPURNIA I swear that girl. She is slower than Alexander riding an elephant into India. You simply have to find another country to invade with better slaves. Why don’t you go back to Gaul? The girls from there are so interesting. They’re a bit smelly, but at least they moved quickly. Julius? Julius, are you listening? JULIUS (still reading the paper) Yes dear. CALPURNIA I was talking with Antonia, you know Mark’s second wife. And she was telling me how they had been getting these girls up from Egypt. They’re smart and clean and good with children. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear the patter of little feet around the palace. Oh, I’m not saying immediately, but soon. I mean, you’re not getting any younger, and neither am I. Julius drops the paper down enough to look at her She doesn’t notice him looking and he continues reading CALPURNIA It’s just that everyone says the same thing when I’m out and about. “So...When are you going to be giving us our little emperor?”. I never know what to say. I just smile and laugh and change the subject. And if they press, I just say that you’re very busy running the empire and that we never have any quality time together. That seems to put them off for awhile. Jessie comes back in with a tray and begins clearing dishes from Calpurnia’s side CALPURNIA Jessie. Now do be sure to give the scraps to the lions. They are looking a bit scraggly since we ran out of Israelites. Jessie! Jessie, do you hear me? JESSIE Yes Ma’am. Scraps for the lions. Jessie shuffles towards the other end of the table JESSIE Are you finished with your breakfast Mister Caesar? Caesar drops his paper and takes a sip from his coffee cup. JULIUS Yes Jessie. I’m all done. Thank you. JESSIE Yes sir. Thank you sir. Jessie clears his place and shuffles off CALPURNIA Why is she so pleasant with you? It’s like pulling teeth for me to get her to say please or thank you. JULIUS Well, maybe if you were a bit nicer to her, she’d be nicer to you. CALPURNIA Oh don’t be silly, she’s the help. Julius picks up the paper and begins reading CALPURNIA Oh, honey put down the paper and talk to me. JULIUS About what? CALPURNIA How is work? JULIUS Work is work. CALPURNIA Are you getting along with the Senate any better? JULIUS No. Calpurnia sits quietly for a moment CALPURNIA How come we never talk any more? When we first got married we would talk all night. We would lie in bed and watch the stars as they moved across the sky. You never talk to me anymore. JULIUS We talk. We talk plenty. I’m talking to you now. CALPURNIA No you’re not. You are reading the paper and answering questions. That’s not talking. (pleading) Julie, please? JULIUS All right. Fine He puts down the paper JULIUS What do you want to talk about? CALPURNIA I hear that your planning another trip to Egypt. JULIUS Yes. I’m going to Egypt. I’ve got a mess that needs to be cleaned up down there. CALPURNIA It wouldn’t have anything to do with that harlot Cleopatra would it? JULIUS (pleading) How many times do we have to go over this? It was ages ago. She meant nothing. It was a war. You know how men get when they go to war in a foreign place. The blood was up, I was lonely. Besides, she was a queen of a conquered land, what was I supposed to do? She threw herself at me. CALPURNIA I’m sure you didn’t fight her off. And now I here she’s staying at the lake house on the outskirts of town. Oh Julius how could you? She begins weeping JULIUS JULIUS JULIUS JULIUS What are you doing today? CALPURNIA Some of the girls and I are going to go see a play and then spend the afternoon at the vomitorium. JULIUS Well you have fun. Don’t stay out too long. Remember we’re having Brutus and his wife over for dinner. CALPURNIA Oh, he is such a bore. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He never stops talking. JULIUS A necessary evil I’m afraid. I have to put up with all kinds from the office if I want to keep the peace. He starts gathering rolls of parchment from the table JULIUS I swear the paperwork never ends in this job, one day it will be the death of me I know it. He leans in to give her a kiss CALPURNIA Be careful, my big handsome dictator you. Don’t let those little men push you around. Caesar leaves Calpurina takes a sip of coffee Jessie comes dragging in JESSIE Excuse me Miss Calpurina, is Mister Caesar gone off to work? CALPURNIA Yes Jessie. He has just left for the senate. Why? JESSIE There’s a man outside the back gate all dressed in rags asking for Mister Caesar. He keeps saying to tell him to beware some somebodys named Ides during the month of March.. He’s a strange one Miss. All raggedy and soothsaying like. CALPURNIA Send him away Jessie, and go and draw me a bath. I need to get ready for the theatre. JESSIE What’s you seeing Miss Calpurnia? CALPURNIA Something by that new playwright, Plautus. It’s got stabbings and monsters and things in it. I’m not too keen on that sort of play, but it’s all that rage I understand. Now hurry on and fill the bath. I’m dreadfully late. JESSIE Yes Miss. Right away Miss. Stabbings in the theatre. Who’d a thought? Jessie shuffles off
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