View single post by timmy
 Posted: Wed Dec 15th, 2010 06:28 pm
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timmy

 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1081
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Mana: 
"stubborn" is not the word you want.  The hairs are not releasing from the razor...much as life does not release.  "Stubborn" is not  the word.  

Listen, I don't want to beat this to death, but I watched my Dad for the better part of three days...he DID NOT WANT to die.  But he didn't know it. He would not release his spirit, his soul.  He became mean, and I watched him rip the IV out of his wrist; the blood was spraying around, and I have never been able to capture that moment...I might be wrong, but I think this is the same moment in your poem and you have attached it to the hairs of the razor.  My dad's moment was at the other end of the spectrum.

Look up a short story called, "Shaving"...it tells the story of a son who is responsible for shaving his father b/c the old man can't anymore, due to cancer.  Similar moment to this poem.

Life "clings"...you want a word in that vein...those other words you are throwing around are too "clinical"...

IMR:  You are uncanny...sometimes ;)

timmy

Last edited on Wed Dec 15th, 2010 06:28 pm by timmy