|View single post by QuixotesGhost|
|Posted: Mon Jul 4th, 2011 03:39 am||
|Thanks for the feedback!
Update: I'm currently directing this as part of a short-play festival going up in mid-August in Colorado Springs. Casting is almost done, just have one more guy I want to read for Adam before I make my final descision. From here on out, I think the way my actors play the parts are going to influence script edits more than anything. For example I love the reading I got from my God, who is playing him very tone-deaf - much like Will Ferrel's character from SNL, "The Reporter who is unable to modulate his voice".
- The references made in the "O Wonderous Age!" monolougue are a bit dated and I think I should update them a bit more for the internet age.
- Still think Adam and Eve need more "civilization play" at thier tea party before God shows up.
As far as the running joke about Adam's missing genitals, I kept waiting for some punchline from Eve regarding her long wait for consummation. There are lots of potential lines not exploited here, and also what about Eve herself? Are hers missing as well? Maybe there are no genders yet and that's the joke. Another thing that I was thinking about regarding motivation for furniture, which Stan could mention, is the toll the rocks are taking on their behinds. Maybe they're getting decubitus ulcers. Who knows. It seems the both of them are too easy of a sell though. Could be a little more back and forth.
Oooh - yeah there could be a funny joke about that consumation. I like it! About awkwardness and ineptness, not be able to figure it quite out. Either as part of a scene, or (more likely) referencing later on.
The joke about the gentials is also partly meta-theatrical, since they'll be in beige body-stockings, so Adam is also referencing his costume. As far as Eve, I agree - it's a loose end, but I couldn't figure out a way to comedically mine her lack of genitals that wasn't already done with Adam - so I feel that any reference to hers will come off as redundant. And by pointing that out, one calls in to question her desire for cosumation, and I think ultimaltely ends up confusing the audience. So I'm planning on hand-waving it and hoping nobody notices.
As far as the toll of the rocks, you'll notice that both Adam and Stan talk about "chafed asses" in the latest draft. I thought previously it would be better to just do this visually, but I think Adam specially mentioning it provides a bigger punchline.
Last edited on Mon Jul 4th, 2011 03:51 am by QuixotesGhost