View single post by JustGoWithIt
 Posted: Mon Jan 30th, 2012 02:11 am
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JustGoWithIt



Joined: Wed Jan 20th, 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 75
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Mana: 
I like the ideas you're presenting here, but...and perhaps this is because of the blank-verse style here or perhaps the characters have a more sophisticated background, but I didn't think they seemed to talk like normal 37- and 15-year olds. Stuff like "We look upon this", "the chief evidence of my transgression", etc.

Also, I feel like there's a lot more you can do with these characters in terms of a potential story now that you have their backgrounds down. Right now they just spill each other's hearts out to each other right off the bat. Maybe have Catherine dishonor the agreement and keep one more secret...one that would really shatter Pamela if she knew it? Something like her being Arthur's kid?