View single post by David R. Garland
 Posted: Mon Oct 28th, 2019 09:08 am
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David R. Garland

Joined: Sun Oct 20th, 2019
Location: Toledo, Ohio USA
Posts: 15
I would like to offer my two cents on this if you are interested? Please bear in mind my near complete ignorance, when it comes to drama, and take my thoughts with as many grains of salt as you feel applicable. First off, I love the premise. And I love the setting, New Orleans has a magical air about it. In my mind it always elicits a haunted quality to it, and the pending arrival of Katrina only adds to the menacing air. Also, I am a sucker for anything southern! The ethnic lyricism of the dialogue transports my mind to familiar and comforting places. The interaction between the characters is genuine, felt thoroughly authentic, and enjoyable. The only thing I have to say, even remotely critical is some of your word choices. I am an old man, hardly up to date on the slang and euphemisms of modern (Post 1980's) youth.
DELILAH: You promised—soon as ya made some bones.
'Bones', In particular has a older, 1960's to 70's ring in my ear. Unless the character are older? Though I assumed they were mid to late twenties.
Your choice of names for the characters was, in my mind, a great one. Samson and Delilah, the biblical reference adds to the scene magnificently.
I guess I should be jealous, but to be frank, I am too much in awe to be anything but impressed. I have tried to write 10 minutes plays before, but could never be succinct enough to pull the trick. Anyway, great write! I was both entertained, and inspired.
Thank you!