View single post by Silver Scribe
 Posted: Wed Jun 20th, 2007 11:53 pm
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Silver Scribe

 

Joined: Wed May 30th, 2007
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Mana: 
I like this letter's simplicity. I'm not sure if the plot summary leaves anything to the imagination, but that may be a mere matter of taste. I'd revisit the use of the phrase '"most beautiful" as the second time it's mentioned, a little of the punch has been been sucked out of it. Were I a publisher, I might question potential links to Pinnochio & the Little Mermaid, so the more you can do to set your story apart, the better.