|View single post by Proboscisbunny|
|Posted: Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 03:08 pm||
|This is what my instinct tells me. It's a great idea, but the way you have it it's too long and difficult to follow. I don't want to work (I'm quoting feedback I've received myself ;) Just give them a taste - pun intended ;) And don't give away the end!
I loved the "Add D.J. to the mix" line, but thought the second half "for more questionable results" was you commenting on your work, putting it in a bad light. Let them make their own judgements - they will!
It sounds like a fun pay! Have a fun synopsis to match it! Great thinking...
CHURCH BASEMENT LADIES CASSEROLE COOK-OFF
By Toni Wilson
Cook Time: 37 minutes
Description: The arrival of the new pastor causes a great romantic stir in the Church Basement Ladies group. Each woman attempts to get her daughter to be seen as a romantic interest for him, with questionable results.
3 Church Basement Ladies and their daughters.
1 Church Basement Ladies President and her son.
1. New, young, handsome and single pastor, Pastor Ray
Dashes of dreams - marrying a pastor, becoming a nurse, a nun and a chocolatier
2. Add D.J. to the mix.
3. Repeat step one.
4. Bake at 425 degrees until top is golden brown and insides are creamy and hilarious.