|View single post by kris|
|Posted: Thu Jan 31st, 2008 05:49 pm||
|Hi, Sircmichaels, stalwart of the 30-day submission spree,
First of all, you must realize that I know nothing about playwriting or synopses, and whatever "expertise" I have is based in journalism and book-editing. Please keep that in mind as you read my suggestions.
First of all, I would ditch the "Greetings." It sounds too much like the IRS or the draft board, and is unnecessary after "Hello, whomever."
Second, I would put who you are and where you live farther down, if not delete it entirely. Your name, address, etc., will be under your signature, so it's superfluous up above -- which is where you want to capture their interest.
I would showcase the fact that the play has been produced at the college and presented (read, nominated, whatever) at the Kennedy Center, and would "lead" with this information. Something like:
"I hope you'll take a look at the enclosed play, "Patrios," which was presented blah blah blah." That way they know it's producible and interesting right off the bat. Then you can hit them with the synopsis. (As an aside, you needn't say you're a produced playwright after you let them know that your play has been produced.)
The synopsis itself is OK, although a bit general. Maybe mention a couple of characters, a relationship, something a little more specific to give some life to the abstraction.
You might also include a playwrights' bio/resume along with character breakdown, production notes, etc. That way they can see that you've been produced, won awards, etc., and you don't have to actually tell them in your letter.
The last sentence is fine, although "in the future" is implied in "possibility" and so is redundant and weedy.
Again -- this is all from a perspective that's about 28 degrees off! So get out the salt.
I do hope something is helpful, though.