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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > On Sleepness Nights

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 Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 12:06 am
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1082
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Mana: 
i’d love to sing to you at night, lightly
(two a.m. / four a.m.
it doesn’t matter
for time seems unsettled these nights,
and i’m never quite sure what time i am, never
quite sure if i’m summer or winter so sometimes
i peek out our window to be seasonally sure--

but all i can see is a small house, wrapped in white,
icicles hanging from its eaves like cold rapiers

and there you are, doing exactly what
you are supposed to be doing,
a cut stalk, sleeping stiffly.

in the morning you will be a magnolia, stretching
your pink and awkward heart toward another day

a magnolia thinks in white, but it’s really pink
it thinks like: laughing pink, breathing pink

even in the dead cold night of winter
when i’d love to sing to you, lightly
three a.m. / five a.m.
it doesn’t matter)
i know by morning
i’ll be seeing a pink magnolia
and can let that thought go

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 Posted: Sat Mar 10th, 2007 04:20 am
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in media res
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Joined: Sun Jul 2nd, 2006
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Mana: 
timmy,

Brilliant. Brings a tear to my eye.

Because of its construct and emotional depth and beauty.

Knocked me out with:

"even in the dead cold night of winter
when i’d love to sing to you, lightly
three a.m. / five a.m.
it doesn’t matter)"

How many times have I...and anyone who is human?


a great fan of your poetic continuum,

in media res

Last edited on Sat Mar 10th, 2007 04:26 am by in media res

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