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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Past Midnight

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 Posted: Wed Dec 5th, 2007 07:36 pm
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1079
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Mana: 
Thanks for the comment, Nate.  Welcome.

timmy

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 Posted: Wed Dec 5th, 2007 04:28 pm
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Nate88
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Joined: Fri Nov 30th, 2007
Location: Wakefield, United Kingdom
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Mana: 
im new to the forum and fully aware this was written quite some time...but the line

" i wish for a wish to make me
younger than morning doves"

has a banal hoplessness that is simply beautifull...

just thought id say.

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 Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 03:10 am
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Mana: 
i want to lie in a silent room,
feel the buck of your heart

i need your hands to help
me sleep, fireflies outside
blinking hourly for favors

i wish for a wish to make me
younger than morning doves

thinking of a cork easing through
the wet neck of chilled chablis,
wine delicious on your pink throat

marking it in passing minutes

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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Past Midnight Top




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