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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > "Living Under a Red Star" Act I - Part 1

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 Posted: Wed Dec 17th, 2008 11:05 pm
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RTurco
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Mana: 

Last edited on Sat Feb 28th, 2009 12:14 am by RTurco

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 Posted: Wed Dec 17th, 2008 11:07 pm
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RTurco
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Sorry for the funky formating. It isn't written like this on the Word document. Hopefully, you can decipher it.

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 Posted: Thu Dec 18th, 2008 02:00 am
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Edd
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RTurco,

I have deleted your two attempts at posting the second part of this play.  I think the second part may be too large and this software keeps rejecting it.  Try posting it in 3 parts instead of 2.  That should work for you.

Best,
Edd

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 Posted: Sun Dec 21st, 2008 06:00 pm
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Mary Alice
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RTurco,

  You have dialog here and the beginnings of characters, but I still am not sure of the plot, the story.  I am sure you know what the story is, but I need to know well before this point.
  It is possible that I missed it because I am old and grouchy and somewhat lazy.  You must bare that in mind as you consider any and all criticism I may offer.  But you might also want to consider a much smaller project as a starting point here.  More of us will have time to read and respond if you make it easier.
  Characters, like people, become functionary when they are forced to serve ideas.  When they reveal their own stories, they reveal the author's story, the plot.  Everything that happens on stage, scene changes, entrances, lighting, must serve the plot, the story.
  Perhaps one of the exercises in The Playwright's Gym, would be an opportunity to harness an idea and a couple of characters into one story?
  Keep writing.

Love, peace and silliness,

Mary Alice

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