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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > July in Sparks

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July in Sparks  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Sat May 1st, 2010 02:18 am
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A.R.M
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Forever this is how my life is to be,
You in the next seat,
Sitting far from me.

I look in your eyes,
But only the sides,
For your gaze is glued to the blasts in the sky.

This girl lays on my chest as the boat rocks to and fro,
But my focus goes to you and the things you should know.

Sleek shimmery water reflects the night sky above,
While the more of you I lose, the more of you I love.

When I had you I did nothing, but its hard to regret,
Because as you sit before me now, I do even less.

This girl I hold is treachery to my soul, is lechery to my desire
With her I will never again have your warmth, and never again feel your fire.

I hate her, I despise her
She will never be you
And for any girl on Earth
This will always be true

I want you, I lost you
My evanescent muse
My life now is nothing
But an outwardly ruse

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 Posted: Sun May 2nd, 2010 01:20 am
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Alan
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What would you like to know about this poem?

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 Posted: Sun May 2nd, 2010 10:52 pm
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in media res
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Kind of reminds me of sentiments of Sonnet 147 by Shakespeare.

Not bad!

in media res

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