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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Re-learning

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 Posted: Sun Oct 10th, 2010 04:55 pm
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
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Mana: 
1.
One of the last times I saw you
your hands were waving wildly
above; your hair was messed

your left shoe was halfway off
your foot, tipping almost to the floor

you was talking to someone; you were
seeing and hearing no one; you were
going where nobody knows; you were
talking loudly to the empty air, you were


2.
Between then and now, you were
a state of mind for me, a habit
from my heart

I, your son, you my father; two people
having known each other for fifty-one
years: it has taken nearly two years
for me to relearn all my lessons

Last edited on Wed Oct 13th, 2010 02:25 am by timmy

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 Posted: Tue Oct 12th, 2010 04:58 am
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kris
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Joined: Sat Aug 11th, 2007
Location: Centennial, Colorado USA
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Gosh, timmy. Two years. Somehow it doesn't seem that long ago. My father died seven years ago, and I'm still relearning my lessons. It's amazing and wonderful that in death as much as life they still inspire.

***

Hope you're still smoke free!

Warmest regards,
kris

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 Posted: Wed Oct 13th, 2010 02:24 am
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
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Mana: 
Not really two years until next May, kris. Not everything in poetry is "real time"...(I edited the poem to reflect this :)

Yes, no smoke since 3/5/2010...thanks for asking.

timmy

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