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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Clear, Green Poem

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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
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Mana: 
Rocks at the bottom of the clear green
sea; their veins remind you of other
lives

Shells at the bottom of the clear green
sea tell of thirst, yet you can hold
them in your hand

Fish at the bottom of the clear green
sea, deep beneath two oars; for years
you didn’t know her

You once wrote her name in sand;
the sea breeze blew; her letters
vanished by morning

kris
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Joined: Sat Aug 11th, 2007
Location: Centennial, Colorado USA
Posts: 215
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Mana: 
Hi, timmy, and happy 20 'leventy. I stopped by the forum to reread "Ordinary Lives" --  I love the ending of that poem -- and got waylaid by "A Clear, Green Poem." Lovely.

kris

timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1084
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Mana: 
Kris:

I used to sit in school back in the late 60's and listen to my teachers tell me how quickly the new century would be  upon me.  I laughed at them.

Happy 2011 to you.

timmy

(Glad you like mepoetry. Thank you) 



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