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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Talent Hunting

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 Posted: Wed Aug 30th, 2006 06:36 pm
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lostsocks
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Perhaps not the most productive cure for writers block, but whilst stuck with my latest project I thought I would go over some of my other bits-and-pieces and see what I could make of them.

So here we are, another poem I remain undecided upon...

Talent Hunting

Won’t hunt a fox but trap a rat

Never shoot a deer - but swat a fly

Save the whales but eat the cows


It’s at times like this that I wish I had been born with blonde hair and blue eyes

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 Posted: Thu Aug 31st, 2006 12:46 pm
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nikip
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Hi Lostsocks.  Will give you my initial response and hope it helps.  I thought it was interesting and provocative.  To me it was about hypocrisy and "ideals" and "perfections" that are constantly challenged by double standards.  I think you could expand it and give other examples.  Though the point is there, it could be teased out some more to really pack home the punch.  The last line about "wishing" for perfection I just need to babble on about for a minute, as I am not entirely sure.  It gives this idea of wishing to be perfect, but the "Nazi" perfection it suggests is also about hypocrisy and prejudice. It sort of works, but on one level it seems that the wisher is wishing for that which he disdains.  Maybe it doesn't need to be a wish?  Don't know.  Hope I am being helpful rather than incoherent!

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 Posted: Thu Aug 31st, 2006 01:03 pm
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lostsocks
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I see what you mean - the word "wish" can be a confusing.
When writing it I meant it in the sense of "I wish I was like this for the sake of my own safety" - as a kind of fear of the perfect rather than a desire to join their ranks...

But i like your reading of it. I'll give it another look tonight and see what I can make of it

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 Posted: Thu Aug 31st, 2006 01:10 pm
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nikip
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Good.  Glad you are inspired to work it!  Would be interested to see the next draft.

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 Posted: Sat Sep 9th, 2006 01:47 am
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lostsocks
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This is latest revision, not to different, but slight change on empthasis.
As always, feedback and critique most welcome

Talent Hunting

Won’t hunt a fox but trap a mouse

Never shoot a deer - but swat a fly

Save the whales but eat the cows


When the trap closes on this old rat - will the angels have blonde hair and blue eyes?

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