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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Blowing Bubbles

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Blowing Bubbles  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Sat Feb 18th, 2012 03:58 am
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Potabasil
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Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
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On Ushers Quay
we sat alone
blowing bubbles
you and me

Anna Livia
who is she?
Floating down
with bubbles
you and me

In my dream
you and me
blowing bubbles

I danced for you
In my dream
I went naked
you didn't see
Floating down
Ushers Quay
Blowing bubbles
you and me

Last edited on Sat Feb 18th, 2012 04:15 am by Potabasil

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 Posted: Mon Feb 20th, 2012 06:17 pm
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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dreamy...I like it. Love location poems. "Ushers Quay" has a nice ring to it. It's perfect. Even the repetition of "you and me" lulls. Could easily have slipped into a rhyming soapbox, but it didn't. Am glad.

timmy

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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Blowing Bubbles Top




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