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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > Slut.

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 Posted: Sat Mar 24th, 2012 09:23 pm
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jaybearch
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Mana: 
Hey there! This is my first post on this forum, and my first real attempt at playwriting outside of my drama class! I know it's not all that long, but I might still add more to it. Anyhow, any feedback is appreciated, especially related to developing the characters more!
Thanks,
Jayden =)

Attachment: Slut. (Rough 8).txt (Downloaded 18 times)

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 Posted: Fri May 18th, 2012 09:50 pm
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QuixotesGhost
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Mana: 
I downloaded this and the formatting is all messed up. The lines stretch about 6 screens over and there's no line breaks, which makes it impossible to read. I'd reupload it, perhaps into a .doc or .docx file.

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 Posted: Mon May 28th, 2012 09:52 pm
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Allan_West
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Mana: 
I fixed the formatting and re-saved it, hope it helps. I'll read it a bit later and respond with some feedback.

Attachment: Slut.zip (Downloaded 11 times)

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 Posted: Tue May 29th, 2012 04:23 pm
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Awfly Wee Eli
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Mana: 
Hi, Jay. I know I'm supposed to do critiques as a "praise sandwich": something I liked; something I think needs improvement; something I like. But, to be honest, I didn't find anything I liked about this play. The characters are stereotypical and flat (The Hooker, The Pimp, The John, The Angry Mother), the situation demeaning to the alleged lead, and none of the characters grow in any way. Their lives are terrible, and then they get worse, and then one of them dies. The End.

Ask yourself: why are you telling this particular story? What do you want to say about these characters? What do you want the audience to think and feel about the play and its characters when it's over?

What *I* took away is: women are sluts; men are pigs; life sucks and no one can change it. If you're going for "slice-of-some-demoralized-hooker's-ruined-life", congratulations. But if I went to a short play festival and saw that piece, I would walk out, and I think a lot of other people would, too.

Last edited on Tue May 29th, 2012 04:23 pm by Awfly Wee Eli

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