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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Rite of Spring

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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Rain falls
on the world
into cracks,
into a coffee cup
you once left
outside on the deck
post; each drop comes
tapping into the garden,
trying to be distinguished,
trying to be recognized,
next to a single lane road
where all the vehicles
slow, and everyone
passes with hesitation

katoagogo
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Joined: Fri Jun 16th, 2006
Location: New London, Connecticut USA
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AT first I read the top line as "Run falls"

And when I get to the bottom I'm thinking, "if it's one line shorter near the bottom it would actually be shaped like a cumulo-nimbus cloud," but I like all the words.

--kato

Last edited on Tue Apr 30th, 2013 06:38 pm by katoagogo

timmy
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"A careful reader can see many things in words." Wise words from an old friend of mine ;)

timmy



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