The Playwrights Forum Home 
 

SEARCH STAGEPLAYS.COM
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PLAY DATABASE

  STAGEPLAYS BOOKSHOP NEW CYBERPRESS PLAYS PLAYWRIGHTING BOOKS PUBLISH MY PLAY AFFILIATE PROGRAM THE THEATRE BANNER EXCHANGE  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Soldier's Life

* STAGEPLAYS WANTS TO PUBLISH YOUR PLAY *
click here for details

 Moderated by: Paddy, Edd
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
A Soldier's Life  Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Wed Nov 13th, 2013 10:52 pm
  PM Quote Reply
1st Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1077
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
There were times in my life
when I didn’t really know
my father; such as the times
he would argue with mother
about whatever married parents
argued about; he would storm
out of our small house and march
down the street like some kind
of middle-aged soldier-of-life; later,
he would return and they would hug
and mother would cry like a little girl
and things would seem to be fine
like the weather seems to be fine,
but one never knows the weather,
always do we? Sometimes we pretend
the day is fine when it’s really raining
and all the plans we had made
for what seemed like a thousand years
are cancelled but we go on to the next day
with smiles on our faces and tomorrow’s
dreams on our beds anyway

Once, when I was maybe ten, it was dark
and I was in the woods and father came
marching by and I called out to him
but he kept marching that soldier march
and I called again like a ten year might
when it’s dark out and you don’t want
anyone to know you’re afraid of the dark

He kept marching, crazy with wind clatter
at his back, and me following him
as far as the big hill in front of Eau Claire,
the one that went down and up the big hill
and everybody knew we weren’t
supposed to go down the hill in the dark,
but father did and I let him go and he never
did turn around and acknowledge me;
it was one of the times I didn’t know
my father, kind of like the time I went
to his funeral and there was nothing there
but ashes and I was scared to call his name
for fear he wouldn’t answer me yet again

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Thu Nov 14th, 2013 01:57 am
  PM Quote Reply
2nd Post
in media res
Moderator
 

Joined: Sun Jul 2nd, 2006
Location:  
Posts: 1918
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
As a son of an Irishman, I know the feeling.

Brought a couple of struggling to be repressed tears to mine eyes.

Beautiful.

Just booooteeefoool!

You keep knocking me out.

Best,

IMR

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Nov 15th, 2013 06:19 pm
  PM Quote Reply
3rd Post
Potabasil
Member


Joined: Thu Jan 24th, 2008
Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
Posts: 677
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
Goosebumps

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Fri Jul 11th, 2014 09:11 am
  PM Quote Reply
4th Post
RoWright
Member
 

Joined: Tue Jun 9th, 2009
Location:  
Posts: 18
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
This probably resonates with about 90% of father - son relationships. I like its "memory" reminiscing style quality, makes it that much more honest. Also with some very tiny adjustments - if any- it would easily make a fine stage monologue. Great work.

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Sun Jul 13th, 2014 07:47 am
  PM Quote Reply
5th Post
in media res
Moderator
 

Joined: Sun Jul 2nd, 2006
Location:  
Posts: 1918
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
timmy,

Just read this sucker again.

Because it popped up again.

Still knocks me out.

Read it out loud five times just now with an awe-inspiring lightning storm dancing outside the windows and thunder in the background but no rain…yet.

It really works.

Still knocks me out.

Still knocks me out.

Still knocks me out.

Best,

IMR

Special thanks to Rowright for calling it up again!

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Fri Jul 18th, 2014 07:55 am
  PM Quote Reply
6th Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1077
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
RoWright:

Thank you for your recent encouragement on me poems. Appreciate it.

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Fri Jul 18th, 2014 07:59 am
  PM Quote Reply
7th Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1077
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
IMR:

Thanks, man. Would love to have a copy of your read through w/the thunder in the background. That would be cool.

Hope things are going your way. My golf game is Jekyll & Hyde. Shot 75 last week and was on top of the world. Shot 85 today and had no clue what I was doing.

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

Current time is 09:16 pm  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Soldier's Life Top




UltraBB 1.17 Copyright © 2007-2011 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1491 seconds (13% database + 87% PHP). 27 queries executed.