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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > The Bipartisan Act I, Scene 1

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The Bipartisan Act I, Scene 1  Rating:  Rating
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 Posted: Tue Feb 10th, 2015 06:20 pm
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jjrasm
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Mana: 
I am hoping to get some feedback on my show. The first scene is attached. I'll break it up by scenes so it's not too much all at once. If you're willing/would like to critique the whole piece all at once feel free to PM me and I'll send you the whole script.

Please be very nit-picky. If anything doesn't make sense, you don't think a joke is funny, you question a characters motivation for a certain decision or action, please let me know. If you have any ideas on how to improve lyrics, I would greatly appreciate those as well. Also, if you like something or find a part funny, that would be very useful as well.

If you are a composer, I am still looking for someone to collaborate with on the music. Feel free to PM me.

Attachment: Bipartisan I-1.txt (Downloaded 6 times)

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 Posted: Fri Feb 13th, 2015 12:57 am
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Holz
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Mana: 
Only read about half, so far so good! I like the flow, the lyrics are quite tongue-in-cheek at moments. probably gonna give it a more in-depth review after I finish it and perhaps read it it again.
Good job,
-Holz

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 Posted: Sat Feb 14th, 2015 03:04 am
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Holz
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Last edited on Sat Feb 14th, 2015 03:04 am by Holz

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 Posted: Sat Feb 14th, 2015 03:04 am
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Holz
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Mana: 
Ok, read all the way through and my conclusion is...................it's great! I really like the news reel at the beginning, quite different and funny. It's makes fun of Washington in a comical way. I'd very much like to see the finished product when it get produced.
Good job!
-Holz

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