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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Play > King Fury the Terrible

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 Posted: Mon Sep 14th, 2015 04:47 am
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AntonioDevaughn
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Mana: 
Just recently self publish King Fury the Terrible on amazon, was hoping people could critique. A dystopia in which a black king rules the world enforcing the oppression of whites around the world. A great conspiracy festers under the throne room; white death equates to economic prosperity. I only posted the first act due to the file size, if I could, I would paste/upload  the whole play... only read if you can get pass the premise with thick skin.


[NINA SIMONE - STRANGE FRUIT]

SETTING: In the throne room, a regal room draperies and rugs blood red. On the walls are candles and gold plates melted with faces of unknown champions. A royal table sits at the side of the room and up inclined by three steps sets the throne. Pattern by bits of gold and blood red furnishing. Resting on the end of both arm rest lies two human skulls; symbolizing eerie death itself. 
AT RISE: Sitting on the throne from millenniums upon millenniums of rein and divisions; old decrepit LUCIFER sits tirelessly. The demon of LOYALTY clings to Lucifer’s arm-side deranged himself, pleading to Lucifer’s every need. Off to the side of the room in total silence and to himself; the DEMON OF GAMES sits deep in thought and wonderment of the board game in front of him.













LOYAL
Lucy oh Lucy! Lucy! My dear Lucy!.... How dare they. How dare they all!, Lucy! They know not of the true king that lies before them Lucy, My Lucy! Wretched!... Puny!.... Wretched! Wretched!... Puny… Wretched! If no being knows of loyalty they truly have no vows.  
LOYAL CONTD    
(LUCY occasionally whimpering and LOYAL clinging by ear.)
What’s that?! Oh Lucy! How dare they!... Infidels!... Catholics!!, Popes!, Incarnates!... Incarnates!, Incarnates!  Poor Lucy, My Lucy, OUR LUCY!… What’s that?... What’s that?
(LUCY is gasping clawing at the air while LOYAL bends down with is ear highly concerned.)
LUCY
Wa-wa-wa.
LOYAL
Yes Lucy, my, what is it Lucy?
LUCY
Wa-wa-wa-wat-water
LOYAL
WA- Water?! Water!... Water!, You want water!, Oh dear,
(LOYAL rushes almost tumbling down the throne; clutching a bronze cup on the table spilling the content as he makes his way back up the throne.)
LOYAL CONTD

Here dear… shh…shhh shhhhhhh. Dear Lucy, Dear Lucy, drink dear Lucy
(LOYAL cradling the cup to LUCY’S mouth with two hands as if gently giving drink or medicine to an old baby.)

LOYAL CONTD           

Now now, Lucy. Drink!... Infidel’s! Catholics! Popes aand Bibles!! Who would have known the power of written word, as if, as if the soul is bond to every word, every stencil, every ink block, every hammer to nail, every stitch and ink spill. They know not their true king… Lucy! oh LucY!
(Tosses the cup to the ground and caresses LUCY’S old head for a few moments…)
(Aside.)
LOYAL CONTD

Goddammit! Goddammit! IS this what you want to see?! Feebleness?!... Weakness?! You weak mortals looking on… YOU KNOW NOTHING!, of infinity. You live moment to moment never seeing truly the bigger picture or the nonexistence of time, which why so easily corruptible! YOU. ARE. WORRmSS… BE happy and cling to your lives… you, beeee, ha-ppy of the millenniums that weighs his shoulders and that that the all mighty only wishes is… water… You think the Demon of Torture is cruel!, then you know nothing…
(Turns back to LUCIFER who quivers of old age.)
LOYAL CONTD

    Oh Lucy… 

(LOYAL continues his care and GAMES stays concern with his board game, this goes on for a few moments.)
(Enters The Demon of BEAUTY. She is in a gorgeous gown that drags on the floor behind her. She is structured almost ceremonial like a bride coming down an idle. She seemingly pays attention to no one in the room. As soon as she enters LUCIFER reeks in old quivering terror, frustration, and anger.)
                   
LOYAL
    What Lucy, what’s wrong?
(LUCY barely able to stand pointing at Beauty.)
LOYAL CONTD

What what?!, Ohhhhh Beauty! Beauty how dare you! How dare you come back here! Are you here to stay? Why do you cause so much pain to Luc-
(BEAUTY puts her hand into the air bidding for both LUCY and LOYAL to silence. And they silence immediately.)
BEAUTY
Games, did you bring me here?!
(Silence.)
GAMES
…Hehe why would I do that?
 
BEAUTY
Games, did you bring me here?! Answer me!
GAMES
One is so constrained with destiny that they forget free will.
BEAUTY
GAMES I am not a puppet I do not abide by any strings… I am free! As free as the wind. Did you bring me here?!
GAMES
(Snickering)
…… noooooooo?
LOYAL
The wind? You referring to the human realm?
BEAUTY
I am as free as the wind which touches down to the grasses whining and whining caressing the ocean waters which roam carelessly.
LOYAL
Yes but don’t the winds follow patterns?

BEAUTY
(To LOYAL)

Silence!…

(To GAMES)

Do you hear me Games? I am not chained.
GAMES
…… Yes but that which you speak of is held by gravity and atmosphere while the earth spins… and twirls constrained around the sun.
(BEAUTY rushes to GAMES intense with anger.)
BEAUTY
What did you say?... I see your tongue has found a nice place to hide.
(There is a moment’s pause after which BEAUTY turns and immediately starts for the exit. LUCY the whole time sits gargling with frustration and remorse for his lost BEAUTY. BEAUTY is close to the exit.)
LOYAL
(FIRMLY)
Beauty!
(She stops in her tracks.)
LOYAL CONTD
How dare you come here and leave causing Lucy so much pain. Who do you think you are? You envy those weak linear humans so? You are toxic, a plague is released with every step you take to the ground and all dies around it. Do you know of how many wars were fought due to your countenance? Many kingdoms fall from your lightness.
BEAUTY
You known I’ve been to the human realm yet you questioned me earlier?
LOYAL
Yes.
(Turns to the throne.)
BEAUTY
You do realize that all the incarnations frequently remain in the human realm, it’s a new day in age, maybe they just follow in my example.
LOYAL
But Luc-
BEAUTY
Shut up you clinging infant!
(Begins walking up the throne.)
BEAUTY CONTD

You know nothing of Lucifer. You never left… can you even form an opinion? It seems that all you know of Lucy is what Lucy told you… you unknowledgeable written book! Why don’t you suck on Lucy’s nipples for another millennium? And Lucy…
(Rubbing LUCIFER’S old scruffy beard, caressing his face and head which he seems to be getting immediate pleasure.)
BEAUTY CONTD

You toothless lion… quite weak aren’t you? Is it me you want? Do I give you the pleasure, you desire? Hmm?
(She rushes off the throne to which LUCY immediately reacts with intense sadness to which LOYAL immediately tries to comfort.)
BEAUTY CONTD
I know what you want. Shall I dance upon the throne room? No, I will pose… chiseled in place for eternity: for All… well, you to see. I will be your looking glass; I will remind you of any and all you had. Go on, look; you only have but a few seconds.
(LUCY screams.)
LOYAL    
Stop please your hurting him!
BEAUTY
Do I even have a name? Oh… Beauty… the very name painted on my face; advertisement; subliminal; I have no name… Oh,‘B-eauty.’
(Makes for the exit.)
LOYAL
You monster.
(BEAUTY stops at her tracks close to the exit.)
BEAUTY
And what has he done?... That vegetable... you say I release a plague all dying around me with every step I take? Tell me you fool, do you know of Lucy when he was at his prime?... You say I cause great kingdoms to fall… How dare you lecture me when you know Lucy shook the very fabrics of the universe; Disrupting the very cosmos into deep darkness, upsetting even all that is good.
LOYAL
Leave and never come back again!
(BEAUTY exits. GAMES picks up one of his pawns raising it to the air with both hands. He looks at in in owe and wonderment then placing it in his pocket.)
LOYAL CONTD

Come dear Lucy let’s get a bath and have a rest, Yes?
(LOYAL is helping LUCY off the throne as they slowly walk off stage. GAMES remains. A long pause of Games tinkering with his board game until… KNOWLEDGE and RAGE enter the throne room deep in conversation.)
KNOWLEDGE
Rage, you live on one side of the ocean; there are many lands, shorelines upon shorelines, breeze, air to absorb and witness.
RAGE
As you said I live on one shore, which means my place is marked. Why do you keep speaking of nature? Don’t you think earthquakes, volcanoes, and tsunamis are old? I like the city; I like swords; I like daggers; I like cannibals; I like poison; I like arrows; I like rape; I like priest who speak for god; I like gold, and greed.
(RAGE continues to name things he likes)
KNOWLEDGE
My devil you are just Apeish as Torture. And priest, rape, and cannibals have been around as long as man crawled out the waters.
RAGE
I like-
(Rage thinking)
KNOWLEDGE
Alley upon alley of perspectives and you choose one.
RAGE
This is my operation, what’s it to you?!
KNOWLEDGE
A century and a half now I sit back and watch. Your like… like a ranting baby. Must you influence a man to shoot another?: just like that the same story leading up with twist, but the same story. Must you constantly fuel revenge? Anger? You could at least be a bit more devious or cunning.
RAGE
See why do you do that?
KNOWLEDGE
What?
RAGE
Twist words… you just said devious and then cunning afterward. By my brain that’s the same word twice. And you debt me and give me too much credit. Many times by I mean many times I just watch, engaging in nothing.

KNOWLEDGE
Lies! Don’t you believe that the limitless space of knowledge in the cosmos that seeps into the mind of a short lived creature conscious is a bit too much for them to handle, as is?
RAGE
Nope, and I don’t give a shit; fuck you and your big words.
(Sits on the ground)
RAGE CONTD

Leave me alone or I’ll kill you.
KNOWLEDGE.
(KNOWLEDGE looks around suspicious of their predicament)
The throne room?... The throne room?... I don’t remember- Rage, where were we going?
RAGE
I don’t know, your annoying me you fly.
KNOWLEDGE
We weren’t coming here…; Games?! What are you doing here? Are you the source of our presents?!
GAMES
(Looking at his board)
All question and no answer.
KNOWLEDGE
Games what are you up to?
GAMES
(Slowly looking up to KNOWLEDGE)
All question and no answer.
KNOWLEDGE
By the devil all mighty you challenge me. Rage, I believe Games is trying to twist your fun.

RAGE
Not my fun.
(RAGE gets up and stomps over to GAMES, tossing the board sending the pieces flying)
KNOWLEDGE
Come Rage. His pull on us is weaker in the human realm. We will see what he is up to.
(KNOWLEDGE and RAGE rush offstage leaving GAMES there to ponder and pick up his pieces.)
GAMES
(Aside. Games stands with his board; he gives a malicious laugh and exits stage)
((BLACKOUT))
((END OF SCENE))



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