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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > A Small Request

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 Posted: Thu Jan 19th, 2017 12:23 am
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timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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In the near future, you will want another
love poem, a request that might unnerve me.
Even this morning, after another evening
of revolt we both seem to share more of lately,
you said a disarmed heart is luckier
than a fused one. Yet again, I was confused.
Instead of dilly-dallying around about feelings,
why not just let me write something profound.
It’s really no more than printer ink on a page
than the real pores of your skin anyway,
or something like a midnight passion flower
which opens its center against all shadows
before disappearing into further darkness
and losing everything. Why chance it?

Instead I’ll write you another poem, and maybe,
just maybe, you will love me for another month.

Last edited on Thu Jan 19th, 2017 12:24 am by timmy

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 Posted: Mon May 8th, 2017 06:04 am
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in media res
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timmy,

I read this poem when you posted it.

But I did not have time to give it attention.

Until, tonight. I read it out loud, as if at a cold reading, auditioning for a part - with my "acting" skills; which are always questionable with each performance.

I loved this. I read it out loud ten or so times. Each time it got richer.

It made me feel infinitesimal...almost helpless in the shared, joyful and wonderful prison of love.

And then the Hope in the final two lines.

I may have totally misinterpreted your intent. But that is what it means to me.

Of course, "You're only as good as your last performance," can apply to Love - or Love Poetry - or Poetic Criticism - as well.

Brilliant. I say.

IMR

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