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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Daffodils

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 Posted: Sun Apr 16th, 2017 02:51 am
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Potabasil
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Daffodils dancing in the sunshine
Chester and Lord William Alexander Sterling
playing in the field
When I was drug free

Three cars passed me by as I flagged them down
two pony and trap travellers came my way


Down in Clonmel they cut off my top
and send me down

The pain, the pain, take it away
give me the drugs, take it away


Don't send me daffodils

Last edited on Sun Apr 16th, 2017 03:44 am by Potabasil

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 Posted: Sun Apr 16th, 2017 06:53 pm
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Edd
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Good grief, Potabasil. This poem is powerful, tragic and disturbing. Dare I say, beautiful. How about lilies-of-the valley.

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 Posted: Sun Apr 16th, 2017 09:19 pm
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Potabasil
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Thank you Ed

Last edited on Tue Apr 18th, 2017 06:30 am by Potabasil

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 Posted: Mon May 1st, 2017 06:55 pm
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in media res
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Potabasil,

I agree with edd.

But I have been curious to find out the Lord Sterling you are referencing.

There are several in my quest, either spelled Stirling or Sterling.

And either American or Scottish.

Your poem made me write a poem the same day.

Best,

IMR

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 Posted: Tue May 2nd, 2017 12:20 pm
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Potabasil
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In Media Res
Scottish one
with ref to King Charles

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 Posted: Wed May 24th, 2017 07:21 pm
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timmy
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What a wonderful poem.

"pony and trap travelers" Love this image.

Bravo. And so nice to see your name. Hope the children are well.

timmy

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 Posted: Sat May 27th, 2017 10:16 pm
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Potabasil
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Thank you Timmy
All well here
Heading over the Pond next Saturday for 6 weeks
Kids in great form

Potabasil

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