The Playwrights Forum Home 
 

SEARCH STAGEPLAYS.COM
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PLAY DATABASE

  STAGEPLAYS BOOKSHOP NEW CYBERPRESS PLAYS PLAYWRIGHTING BOOKS PUBLISH MY PLAY AFFILIATE PROGRAM THE THEATRE BANNER EXCHANGE  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > I Might Ring Your Doorbell

* STAGEPLAYS WANTS TO PUBLISH YOUR PLAY *
click here for details

 Moderated by: Paddy, Edd
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
I Might Ring Your Doorbell  Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Tue May 28th, 2019 01:47 am
  PM Quote Reply
1st Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1079
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
If we weren’t together
I wouldn’t mind leasing the house
next door or across the field—

I would observe your windows, your cycle
of lights and slight movement of curtains
or blinds, watch you step out for the mail;
I’d be there to suggest a quick
walk around the block.

I might ring your doorbell, ask for a recipe—
you’d ask me in, turn to the cupboard
and I’d swipe a gumdrop from your jar,
maybe lift any book laying around,
read it on your stoop.

We live our lives, thinking smugly
how well we know each other, how long
we’ve heard our best laughs, our worst cries,
a quick tea, a massage, when a see you later
meant I will see you later and sometimes
maybe we’d seem kind of hostile but we knew
it wouldn’t last—

but if we weren’t together
I wouldn’t mind leasing the house
next door just to be close to you
even if I wouldn’t know you
as well as I think I do now.

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

 Posted: Sun Jun 30th, 2019 03:49 pm
  PM Quote Reply
2nd Post
in media res
Moderator
 

Joined: Sun Jul 2nd, 2006
Location:  
Posts: 1926
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
timmy,

I've read this maybe 20 times since you posted it.

At first I skimmed it. Twice.

Then read again and again at various speeds and attention when I checked in.
Half of the times, I read it out loud.

Today I read it...again. On a perfectly beautiful, sunny day...before the georgeous sun and blue skies get shrouded by dark clouds and enormous rains...for the next week...

Your poem is most beautiful.


Thanks,

IMR

Back To Top PM Quote Reply

 Posted: Mon Jul 15th, 2019 02:32 pm
  PM Quote Reply
3rd Post
timmy
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
Posts: 1079
Status: 
Offline
Mana: 
I bet it sounds terrific in your voice, IMR. Thank you very much.

This was written shortly after our 34th anniversary. I have yet to write the love poem I want to write, but I will keep trying.

timmy

Back To Top PM Quote Reply  

Current time is 05:30 am  
The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > I Might Ring Your Doorbell Top




UltraBB 1.17 Copyright © 2007-2011 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1336 seconds (11% database + 89% PHP). 27 queries executed.