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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Where Have All The Souls Gone

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 Posted: Thu Oct 31st, 2019 12:31 pm
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Potabasil
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Location: Peyton Place, New Hampshire USA
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 Losing count
in my old days

The house of the dead
turned into a hostel

Dancing on their graves
why don't they

My toes are cold
a glass of the hard stuff
awaits

The grass is wet
easy to shovel
the friends around
digging
digging
digging

Another glass of the
hard stuff
passing around

My toes are cold

Down to the local
hot toddy awaits

The poor auld soul
at his own wake

Last edited on Thu Oct 31st, 2019 12:34 pm by Potabasil
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 Posted: Fri Nov 1st, 2019 04:00 pm
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David R. Garland
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 I am probably not the best person to ask, but I actually loved this poem. The imagery, is excellent. I can not think of a single thing I would alter. Thank you for posting this, I'll be reading it many times over.
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 Posted: Sat Nov 9th, 2019 03:15 pm
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Potabasil
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 Thank you David.
Another one dead this week
All falling down around me
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 Posted: Sat Nov 9th, 2019 03:16 pm
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Potabasil
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 Thank you David.
Another one dead this week
All falling down around me
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 Posted: Sat Nov 9th, 2019 03:45 pm
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in media res
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 Potabasil,

Good to see you around.

The Hard Stuff can soften a lot of things.

Beautiful poem.


Best,

IMR
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 Posted: Sat Nov 16th, 2019 12:45 am
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timmy
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 Potabasil,

S2 and S4 and the last stanza are to die for. And I mean no disrespect by saying so. They are Bravo.

Peace to you, girl.

timmy

Last edited on Sat Nov 16th, 2019 12:45 am by timmy
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 Posted: Thu Nov 21st, 2019 09:21 pm
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Potabasil
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 Wow
Thank you, Timmy
November always see me around here
All Saints Day and All Souls Day

Must pop in soon when I get a min.

How are you, Timmy?
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 Posted: Fri Nov 22nd, 2019 10:07 am
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Potabasil
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 Just saw this In-Media
Thanks
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