View single post by Darkja
 Posted: Thu Aug 12th, 2010 03:28 pm
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Darkja



Joined: Fri Jan 29th, 2010
Location: Monroe, North Carolina USA
Posts: 89
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Mana: 
the begining of yet another section

 


Money is the Root of All Evil


By Todd Ford


© 2010


 


At Rise: Katherine is at a computer doing the bills. Harold walks in.

 

Katherine (irritated)


Harold…we have to talk.

 

Harold


Katherine if this is about the toilet seat again I said I was…

 

Katherine


No, Harold, this has nothing to do with the toilet seat but I would appreciate not having to take a bath every time I pee. It’s about your…

 

Harold


Honey I told you I didn’t mean to ruin your dress in the wash. I didn’t realize it was dry clean only.

 

Katherine


Well that was (deep sigh) inconvenient but I was referring to your…

 

Harold


Why do you keep bringing it up? I was stressed it happens to a lot of men.

 

Katherine


Harold, focus. It’s not about that. It’s about your spending.

 

Harold (genuinely confused)


My spending?

 

Katherine


Yes, your spending.

 

Harold


I didn’t realize I had a spending problem.

 

Katherine


Well, I found an unusual charge on the bank statement today.

 

Harold


I mean I barely have time with working two jobs.

 

Katherine


And you know we are on a budget.

 

 

Harold


And you do usually take the tip money out of my wallet before I even wake up in the morning.

 

Katherine


It wasn’t much just fifteen dollars.

 

Harold


I did stop and get a soda once is that it?

 

Katherine


Harold have you been buying weapons?

 

Harold (suddenly paying attention)


What?

 

Katherine


Weapons Harold. Have you been buying weapons?

 

Harold (sarcastic)


Yes, Katherine, its all part of my secret plot to kill you.

 

Katherine


There’s no reason to be snide. It’s just the billing statement did say “World of Warcraft”.

 

Harold (laughing)


Oh that. Honey it’s a video game. An online video game. They charge a monthly fee to play it.

 

Katherine


You pay a monthly fee to play a video game.

 

Harold


Yeah, it’s kinda my monthly treat.

 

Katherine


And what do you do in this video game?

 

Harold


You know quest, kill goblins, get loot the usual only with people from around the world.

 

Katherine


So you pay a monthly fee to pretend.

 

Harold


No I pay the money to play a video game.

Katherine


Where you pretend you are someone else.

 

Harold


Yes.

 

Katherine


And you kill imaginary things.

 

Harold


Yes.

 

Katherine


And you pay money for this?

 

Harold


It’s just an outlet and escape.

 

Katherine


Really what are you escaping from?

 

Harold


You know work, bills, life.

 

Katherine


Me Harold? Are you tying to escape from me?

 

Harold


No, Katherine. I would never try to escape from me.

 

Katherine


Then why not talk to me Harold? Why not interact with me?

 

Harold


You’re overreacting. Its just something I do for fun.

 

Katherine


What about me Harold? I work, I pay bills. When do I get an escape? When do I get to have fun? When do I get a god damned treat?

 

Harold


You do Katherine. You go shopping all the time.

 

Katherine


For necessities Harold.

 

Harold


Three pair of shoes are not necessities.

 

Katherine


I need shoes Harold. I need something to put on my feet.

 

Harold


But three pairs?

 

Katherine


One for work, one for home and one for when we go to a nice dinner. Wait you’re right I don’t need three because you’ll never take me out. You’re too busy playing with your pretend friends.

 

Harold


Well what about the clothes Katherine?

 

Katherine


What about the clothes Harold?

 

Harold


Don’t you think you could spend less?

 

Katherine


You’re right Harold I never thought of that.

 

Harold


I’m glad you see my point.

 

Katherine


I could just make a dress out of burlap sacks.

 

Harold


I didn’t mean….

 

Katherine


Or better yet I could GO AROUND NAKED.

 

Harold


Now, Katherine calm down.

 

Katherine


I’m sure my clients would love that.

 

Harold (slyly)


I know I would.

Katherine


What was that?

 

Harold (nervously)


I…said…um…I know I would.

 

Katherine


Did you just try to come on to me in the middle of a fight?

 

Harold


Yes…I mean no.

 

Katherine


Is this something you learned in your “pretend world”.

 

Harold


Would you stop?

 

Katherine


Did your pretend wife teach you that? How much did she cost?

 

Harold


Katherine it was just fifteen dollars.

 

Katherine


You’re right why use it to go to a movie with me. Just blow it on your virtual skank.

 

Harold


I just figured with working two jobs I could spend some money.

 

Katherine


Oh here we go again.

 

Harold


I mean in order to pay for those shoes and clothes of yours somebody has to work.

 

Katherine


Well maybe if I had the fifteen dollars.

 

Harold


And all the going out to eat with your “girlfriends”.

 

Katherine


What am I supposed to stay at home like a hermit.

 

 

Harold


And don’t forget the hour long massages.

 

Katherine


I’ve always told you…

 

Harold


Yeah I know that you would get a second. That’s a laugh.

 

Katherine


What do you think I couldn’t do it?

 

Harold


Working thirteen hours a day. Slaving away in a restaurant. The heat, carrying the plates, staying on your feet. It would kill you.

 

Katherine


I put up with you I think I could handle it.

 

Harold


And the bitching.

 

Katherine


You mean like you’re doing right now.

 

Harold


The constant bitching.

 

Katherine


God knows I have enough experience with it.

 

Harold


One bad customer and you’d snap like a twig.

 

Katherine


No I wouldn’t.

 

Harold


Then go ahead.

 

Katherine


What?

 

Harold


Go ahead. Get a job.

 

Katherine


I’ve tried. I’ve put applications in.

 

Harold


You put in two.

 

Katherine


Well that’s still trying.

 

Harold


One for a job as a nuclear engineer.

 

Katherine


What’s wrong with that?

 

Harold


You’re not qualified.

 

Katherine


A woman can do anything they put their mind to.

 

Harold (muttering)


A woman who finished school could.

 

Katherine


I’m sorry Harold, what did you say?

 

Harold


Nothing.

 

Katherine


You do remember I quit school to marry you right?

 

Harold


I did not make you quit school.

 

Katherine


You said that you wanted me to stay home so you could treat me like a queen.

 

Harold


And I meant what I said.

 

Katherine


I didn’t realize your definition of queen meant “she who breaks back doing dishes”.

 

 


Harold


Well I didn’t realize you thought a queen was “she who holds money with an iron fist”.

 

Last edited on Thu Aug 12th, 2010 07:27 pm by Darkja