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|Posted: Sun Sep 6th, 2015 07:43 pm||
in media res
I read this outloud and had some good laughs.
One can visualize/hear the harriedness and chaos and tumult.
I do not know how much you want to attend to meter.
Sometimes you do it perfectly and sometimes you vary. Yes, I understand the effect of emphasis...when needed.
However, there are times when inserting one other word - or eliminating a word - would make the meter perfect where I do not think emphasis is needed.
It is up to the actors not to make it "song-songy." Good actors never do, knowing when to emphasize/stress/rhyme for proper…well emphasis and rhyme! For effect. To call attention…just like notes in a musical score. (I know you know this…I am just pointing it out.)
Sometimes, visually this can be DONE ON THE PAGE by CAPITALIZATION.
For instance: OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!
A few different things like that in a script can wake up the VISUAL sense of the reader by varying what we see on the page. And it is okay to give THAT kind of clue to an actor/director.
And CAPITALIZING THE CHARACTERS' NAMES ALSO HELPS visually.
Anyway, a treat to read. Best of luck with it.
P.S. I looked up a previous post of yours. This time, you posted a much shorter selection. No one has the time to read long pieces, unless thye request them after reading the sample.