View single post by fpak
 Posted: Fri Jul 22nd, 2016 07:29 pm
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fpak

 

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Hey Michael,
A lot of my thoughts have already been echoed by Edd regarding character voice and stuff.

But here is another thing that I thought needed to be brought up regarding the piece. Lack of conflict. Conflict is basically the source of drama and there is no real conflict here and as such the piece lacks urgency. I mean the entire scene is just a conversation where the guy tells her to look back she doesnt and he doesnt seem even affected by this.

Ill just throw out an idea here. But what if instead of a gleefull psychopath the guy was a tormented one? A man who did what he did but hated himself for it? In that case his need to tell her to look back gains greater dramatic weight. Its like he wants to save her, he wants to be stopped. There is more at stake in a scenario like that.

Thats just an idea to illustrate to you different ways in which you could turn up the conflict in the scene.